I’m probably writing directly to no more than 10% of you, but if you’re one of those 10% you’re going to think that I am telling your story except for using your name! For the rest of you, just ride along here with me if you will, because there’s someone you know who needs to read this blog–and you need to read this in order to know why you ought to tell them about it!

See, some people have come to Body for Life for much more than a physical transformation. The structure is what they want, because they think this will help them conquer another problem that they’re dealing with, and fear is a significant part of that problem. Even as they work their way through that challenge, they are struggling with focus, diet, and self-esteem.

FEAR is not a fun topic. But unconquered fear will usually unhinge a challenge.  Fear is the greatest enemy most of us have. It affects our physical, mental and spiritual wellness; it brings sleeplessness, depression, mood swings, confusion, anger and sadness along with it. Fear is basically a root cause of unhappiness and dysfunction in many of us.

I personally have experienced the mind-gnawing, numbing, paralyzing fear that never goes away. At one point I would have welcomed even death as a way to escape that fear. It followed me and factored into everything I did or failed to do. No amount of pills, whiskey, brave-looking actions or geographic changes quelled it.

How do you know if you or someone you know has it? Well, to start with being fearful is not a popular admission. Ask anyone if they’re afraid and they’ll quickly set you straight! So, fear acquires new names and labels. “Anxious, on-edge, nervous, jumpy, worried.” these all are in reality fear with an alias. Someone who acts that way, or uses those words regularly to describe their mood is certainly a candidate.

How do you get rid of it? Junk any habits that are creating it or fueling it. In my case, fear became recognizable and hence vulnerable as soon as I sobered up! My drinking was like pouring gasoline on the flames of fear.

Just as my drinking caused much of my fear, eating disorders ALWAYS cause fear. Fear of being found out; fear of dying; fear of living; you name it, it will be the primary product of an eating disorder, and ultimately it will result in massive depression, because undealt-with fear always does. Working on the fear instead of just trying to stop the disordered eating helps a lot.  I spent years going to meetings and talking to people who loved me too much to be nice to me. In those meetings I talked frankly about my fears and other character defects. Eventually, the fears just died of neglect. Unless you feed fear, it will die. The trick to stopping feeding it is to find someone safe to talk to–who won’t betray you or spread what you tell them–and tell them the truth about those secrets that are making you crazy with fear! Stopping the addictive behavior will help, but finding an outlet to tell someone about those fears, and the things you worry about others finding out about, will be the best way to make it go bye bye!

Fear, like cockroaches, hates light, and shining the light of truth and disclosure on it is the first step to getting rid of it. It’s also the first step to a really enloyable life instead of the darkness that a fearful person currently lives in.

Need to talk? miketharris@comast.net