Odd title for a blog, don’t you think? Let me explain. I have been thinking a lot lately about the terribly high drop out rate for BFL challenges. No figures are released about it, and probably it is not even possible to tell who really started and who only just requested materials. Still, you can tell even from the the people who come to the guestbook for a while, and then suddenly are never heard from again, that relapse takes a terrible toll, probably at least 90% of all who begin is my guess.

One of the big reasons Bill Phillips believed was responsible for dropping out was what he calls self-perjury, which means deceiving yourself. It’s just like lying to others, except that in the case of self-perjury it amounts to making a promise–rather than a representation–to yourself, and then not carrying it out. See the difference? Making a false representation to yourself happens, too, such as saying to yourself that you really still look pretty darned good–and then when those photos are developed–it’s “OH MY GOD!” time!! In recovery, we called that kind of activity “denial,” and the key to cutting through denial is communication from other people or other things. That’s why interventions work.

BUT, self-perjury is a far more serious and destructive thing, because when you break a promise to yourself, you never trust yourself again. It is just like what happens when someone else breaks a promise to you. Breaking promises to yourself just a few times takes all the motivation right out of your challenge, and you just plain quit on yourself!

But, what about unreliability? It’s just a form of breaking promises, too, only it is a combination of the two. You tell yourself, and you tell someone else, that you’ll meet them at the gym in the morning–and then you just don’t do it. Next time you see them, you come up with some weak excuse, but the bottom line is you just didn’t do it.  In that case, you also suffer a consequence, only it is a combination of denial and self-perjury. You told yourself it was o.k. to not go to the gym, and you also lied to yourself when you did it, so you get a double dose of self-imposed guilt, plus you eventually lose friends over it.

Life has a way of sorting out those who just don’t play its games very well. In the case of a transformation, it’s best to be truthful to yourself and others, and to be reliable as well. That way, you’ll be a success, and you’ll help others to succeed as well. It all starts with looking yourself in the mirror each morning, and then going and doing the next right thing you’re supposed to.