A book on recovery says that the number one offender of an alcoholic is resentment! Not addiction, not temptation, but resentment! And the same flawed mindset that keeps alcoholics and addicts relapsing can derail YOUR best efforts toward a good transformation as well!

Resentment is old anger, that has not been dealt with. It’s related to some long standing offense or situation against you that you have not let go of. You let it leave your mind when you’re really busy, but when circumstances remind you of what “they” did to you, back it comes, along with same old feelings of sadness, anger and self-pity. One person says that resentment is old anger that you keep on a shelf and occasionally take down and polish.

The cause of resentment can be traced directly to unforgiveness–by YOU! In other words, while it may have been righteous anger to begin with, refusing to forgive the offender has turned it into an offense you are carrying around and using against yourself!

Few realize the destructive nature of resentment. Some mistakenly believe that it can be diverted into positive energy to fuel a challenge. It can’t. Why? Resentment is corrosive to your emotions and your spirit.

Unforgiveness can literally rot you from the inside out. Joyce Meyer says that resentment is like “I take the poison, and then I wait for YOU to die!” It’s true, too.

In the end, someone who resents ends up depressed, sick, and without close friends. No one really wants to be around negative people, and no one is more negative than one who resents.

The cure? Forgive. Forgiveness is not an emotional thing. Don’t make the mistake of waiting until you feel like it. Don’t wait for the offender to ask for forgiveness–that’s what got you in the mess. Just say to yourself, and write down in your journal the date, time and place that you said you forgave this person. Then refuse to bring it up, or think about it, or even listen about it if someone else brings it up. It will take weeks for your feelings to catch up with your actions, but they will. While you’re at it, pray for the person who offended you–asking God to give them the desires of their heart. And, one last thing: Forgive yourself for carrying this internal timebomb around with you for as long as you have!