Most people have more responsibility around the home than I do these days. But, just because the kids have all finally left, it doesn’t mean I don’t have battles to wage that can distract me from the Body for Life lifestyle. And that’s what most battles do–distract us, rather than solving anything. The first key to living an organized, peaceful life is knowing when to disagree, when to go to battle, and when to just overlook something and get on with life. The second key to life is making sure that you’re REALLY overlooking something, rather than just pushing all your emotions down inside you, because if that’s what you’re doing, you’re just delaying the moment at which you will blow your top! And blowing your top is exactly what you don’t want to do, because anger, no matter how “righteous it is, is corrosive, and it’s a distraction you just can’t afford while doing a challenge. Here are my major weaknesses: Allowing people to make their problems my problems, and being unable to say no to people who are demanding my time, my money or something else from me. Those are clearly related defects, aren’t they? Now, I usually gloss over these character defects by saying that I “don’t want to hurt their feelings” or that I “really like” helping people with their problems. Well, I do, but even when I know that someone is just trying to take advantage of me, I still say that sometimes. So, what ends up happening is you not only waste your time or your resources on something you shouldn’t have, but you also end up mad at yourself for doing it. At least I  end up that way! Though they love us, family members become real experts at playing on our weaknesses, don’t they? Years ago, I took a course in raising children and learned a couple of things that really help me today, when I choose to remember them. One was that it is just fine to say, “Oh, I’m sorry–that’s really too bad for YOU, isn’t it?” This puts the responsiblity right back on the person who thinks that a sudden emergency created by their neglect should somehow result in your rescuing them. The second is simply to ask yourself, before engaging in potentially conflict building behavior, “Is this a hill worth dying on?”  I have rephrased that question and simply ask myself, “Is this going to matter a year from now?” If it’s not, then I don’t draw my sword! If it might, I think about it a while. If it clearly will, then I spring into action. I’m not perfect yet, but I’m not the doormat I once was. And that actually gives me much more time to organize my life, and to help people that I really want to! That not only doesn’t create resentment–it creates joy!