O.K., so you don’t really talk to yourself—not out loud anyway. But you certainly talk to yourself in the way that you think about some things. And how you talk to yourself in your thoughts will tell you nearly everything you need to know about your likelihood of completing a successful transformation. Self-talk reveals attitudes about yourself.

For example, a thought that says “I must have the approval of (fill in this person’s name) in order to feel good about myself” tends to show that your sense of self-worth is not very high. Someone with that kind of mindset will often do about anything to please others, but usually ends up being overly sensitive to criticism, withdrawing from others to avoid their disapproval, and ultimately ends up in depression and anger. So, a transformation that begins with the goal of obtaining the admiration or acceptance of another usually winds up with the person worse off than they were when they started.

A person who says to himself that he must meet certain standards in order to feel good about himself creates a fear of failure, an attitude of perfectionism, a tendency to manipulate others to achieve success, and usually ends up with a progression consisting of avoiding healthy risks, becoming resentful of others’ successes, withdrawal and depression.

An attitude that is shame-based, one that says “I am what I am, I can’t change—it’s hopeless” writes its own self-fulfilling prophesy in a challenge.

The most difficult mindset, though, is the one that says to itself “those who fail are unworthy of love and deserve punishment.” What makes this one so difficult is that almost no one recognizes they have it, even though it’s pretty common. It is just such a silly way of thinking and acting that no one thinks they could be that way—yet watch how people treat their selves when they fail, and you will see many who truly act like they are unworthy of love and deserve punishment.

So, what kind of a mindset does it take to do a good challenge? Here are a couple that jump to my mind right away:

1. Porter Freeman’s mindset. When he looked in the mirror, and when he considered the challenge, he saw a different person than the one he knew he really was . And he said to himself, “I have more character than that.” He didn’t just transform, he revealed himself, as the man he knew he really was. That’s why he wanted it, why he made it a priority, and why he succeeded. He recognized the good in himself, and set out to reclaim it.
2. Stephen Cater’s mindset: He saw his father lose his health, and pay the ultimate price for it. And he found in himself a desire and strength to be different, to turn out different. In his challenge, he not only honored his father, but ensured that his own family would not have to gather at his bedside as he died of a self-inflicted disease.

Men and women with the attitudes of Porter and Stephen can’t help but be winners. That’s because they are doing it for the right reasons, out of the appropriate mindsets. Because they are acting with right motives, they also can’t help but give away what they’ve found, by helping others any way they can. They are wonderful examples of the universal law of reciprocation. They are, in a word or two, true champions.

The following is a rerun from a blog on the Body for Life website. It was published on 9/18/07 and if you have time you should read the reader comments. They are actually better than the blog itself. Here’s a link to the original blogsite. You will have to navigate on your own to get the comments at the end of the 9/18/07 blog: http://bodyforlife.com/community/blog.asp?author=mharris&apL=4

 

In the real world of Body for Life, here is how perfectionism usually operates. The person decides that he or she has “had it,” that they are going to renounce their current way of living, lose X number of pounds, and get and stay in shape forever. They buy the book; read it carefully; make tremendous preparations just as recommended in the book; plan all their meals and workouts; do all their shopping, and begin in earnest early on a Monday morning. Within a week, they will miss a workout, or grab an unauthorized food and wolf it down, or encounter some personal crisis which suddenly attracts all their attention, and BANG, just like that, their challenge grinds to a complete halt. Then, they resolve to start over and do it again perfectly.

See, the reason that the perfectionism is such a fatal flaw is that it always makes you quit, and never allows for a mistake that can be a teaching moment. Yet, the person who has it just doesn’t see this. They think of themselves as victimized by the temporary failure, and they see “do overs” as just part of the way of achieving the perfect result. There’s no such thing! And the end result of the perfectionist is always the same–they quit! In the end, they are usually much worse off than they were when they started.

How do you beat perfectionism? Well, in a way, it is like a cockroach–it doesn’t like the light! So, admit it to yourself, and put the light of truth on what you are doing, and your ridiculous way of behaving will become evident to you. The wall of denial will crack, and you’ll be able to accept less than perfect, and to get on with your life in an oderly manner. The second thing you can do is to realize that it is far more important to keep your self-promises than it is to do anything perfectly, because breaking promises to yourself causes a complete lack of self-confidence in due time.

 

Most of life’s disasters didn’t just happen. Most of them were birthed as a result of poor or no planning at all. The planning phase of a mission is the most critical of anything else. That’s because without a good plan the mission will certainly be chaotic or at least less than it should have been. That’s why one of the things all student pilots are taught is every flight begins with a careful flight plan.

In Body for Life, your “flight plan” is goal setting. You should carefully and objectively set out in your goals exactly where you want to be in 12 weeks from the start of your transformation. In order to do that, you have to take stock of exactly where you are. So, begin your goal setting process with a careful health assessment. If possible, get a complete physical that includes your blood pressure and pulse at rest, your weight and measurements, your blood work, and an assessment of any physical limitations you have that could impede the progress of your transformation.

Next, think about where you want to be and where you can be in 12 weeks. You want to set goals that will stretch you, but not goals so unrealistic that they will defeat you. For example, if you have 100 pounds to lose, it is unrealistic to set that as a 12 week goal, BUT it is certainly realistic to set as a goal the loss of 1/3 of those pounds. It’s a tough goal, but one you can achieve if all goes well.

Set goals in several areas. Losing a certain number of pounds is the most common, but a goal to lose inches in certain areas can be every bit as important. Especially at the waistline, since that is where the fat really hangs out the most! Improved strength is a laudable goal, but make it specific. If you can currently bench 150 pounds, a goal to increase that to 180 or even 200 pounds over the 12 weeks is something to strive for. There are many other physical performance goals that are appropriate, such as the time it takes to run or walk a mile. For blood work, a goal to reduce bad cholesterol levels as well as overall cholesterol and triglyceride levels is a good one. Those markers respond well to the cardio, the strength training, the good diet, and the supplementation, especially if you supplement with good omega III oils.

You’re not done with just physical goals. Set some others, such as a goal to do something to help someone anonymously at least once a week. Other folks have begun the studies to get a trainer certification. I think you really need a goal that is more about helping others than about just a beach body. Those goals will help you to become a better person as well as a fitter one.

Once you set your goals, put them in your journal, at the front, where you can see them every time you work out. And keep your eyes on the prize. Don’t look back; don’t settle for anything less; and don’t give up! Those goals–and those before photos in your journal–will keep you going forward–even on those days when you would really rather quit! Nobody said this was easy, but with the right goals, it can certainly be well worth the effort!

The Natural History of a Challenge!
by: Michael Harris  6/19/2007

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The purpose of this blog is to explain the most commonly experienced physical difficulties during a challenge, the cause, and what you can do about it, if anything. See, the book, Body for Life, as good as it is, still represents a one-size-fits-all type of effort at a great transformation, written by an experienced bodybuilder, but it simply does not contain everything you might encounter during your efforts.

1. SLEEPLESSNESS AND FOGGINESS: Yes, these seem like opposites, and they are, but they will happen to your rather quickly. If you have been eating a diet heavy in fat and sugary or bready carbohydrates, one of the things (day 2 or 3) that will happen is you’ll wake up several times during the night or early in the morn. It’s not hunger, but just sleeplessness. It’s likely caused by the changeover in your diet from junk to great food. The body uses heavy carbs as a sedative, and a tummy full of them helps you to sleep soundly, almost like you were drugged. The “fogginess” during the day also comes from the absence of loads of sugar, not to mention that you’re not getting quite as much sleep. Hang in there, and you’ll be over this in a week to ten days. Drink lots of water, don’t exercise or consume caffeinated beverages late in the evening and you’ll have more energy than you ever imagined.

2. HEADACHES, BODY ALL ACHING AND RACKED WITH PAIN! Early on, you’ll have some headaches. They are related to sugar and fat withdrawal, just like the sleeplessness. You’ll also experience body soreness from using muscles you never knew you had. You can try stretching, massage, aspirin and other pain killers, and anything else you want, but only time will take care of this. In about 3 to 5 days the condition will subside and you’ll be well enough to exercise those muscles again. This is called delayed onset muscle soreness, and there’s no cure for it than time. Usually it does not recur until you try a different exercise for the same muscle group, or slow up and use extremely slow negative strokes with heavier weights. It’s harmless though annoying, and it IS NOT a sign that you’re necessarily doing something right or wrong.

3. HUNGER: We’re talking REAL hunger here, not cravings. Real and intense hunger may strike around weeks 6 to 10. If it does, evaluate your diet and see if you need to moderately increase protein and good fats. As you get fitter and gain more muscle mass, even though you’re getting littler in the mirror because fat is going away, the muscle is increasing your resting metabolic rate and the body is demanding more food. Increasing your consumption in very small amounts of protein spread out over the six meals will usually take care of this without interrupting or adversely affecting your challenge results. It can also be that your hunger is a sign you’re not getting enough good fat too, though this is rare. You need to proceed carefully here, and you only might need to add a bit of a good oil like fish oil or flaxseed oil. These come in capsules or liquid forms and flaxseed oil can actually be added to a shake, about half a tablespoon should do the trick.

4.EUPHORIA!: No one complains about this, but it too is a “side effect” of a challenge, and it is a brief state that replaces the sufferings mentioned above. It comes around week 2 or 3 and lasts maybe a week. Colors look brighter; people seem nicer; the world is a better place; you have boundless energy! All these things tell you that it isn’t going to last, don’t they! And it doesn’t. Soon enough it is gradually replaced by normality.

Those are the most common phases people go through. Not everyone experiences them all. Not everyone gets them or gets over them during the time frames I’ve mentioned, because everyone is different. But no one gets through a challenge, unless they’re simply just not doing anything, without experiencing at least one of these.

Above all else, try to keep in mind that the purpose of a challenge is a transformation–to literally change you biochemically from a sugar craver to a sugar and fat burner, to change your muscle mass from wimpy to strong, and your outlook from an unhappy, selfish and out-of-shape person to a joyful, giving, fit and beautiful one. This obviously happens over time, and the old you will put up a fight. So, expect roadblocks, adversity, and even outright resistance. They are there to make you stronger! Have a great day, and God bless!

“It’s not your fault!” screams the ad. It’s the one that urges you to get rid of your income tax liability if you owe more than $10,000, or to get all your credit card debts reduced, again assuming you have at least a certain amount of debt. Of course, reality is that these agencies work on contingent fees and your case is not worth their time unless you’re in the ditch to the tune of at least ten grand or so. Mortgage refinancers also tell you it’s not your fault that you’re in over your head because some greedy lender signed you up on a contract that requires you to pay them back with interest. Well, I’m here to tell you that unless you admit you’re at fault, you have no hope of ever becoming a mature and responsible citizen again.

On the guestbook, and everywhere for that matter, the BFL version of “it’s not your fault” is the confession that “I’m an emotional eater.” Well, earth-to-you-buddy, everyone on the planet is an “emotional eater!” That’s why virtually every big moment is celebrated with some kind of a feast. There are wedding feasts, graduation receptions, funeral lunches, Christmas dinners, Thanksgiving celebrations, you name it! We are hard-wired to do some serious eating around various occasions of either joy or sadness. Breaking bread is part of that passage of life, whatever it is.

Most self-styled “emotional eaters” actually mean that they are somehow made anxious by their family or friends or circumstances, and that they have to eat as a result–even to overeat. This is somehow seen as less of a sin than just admitting that we lack self-control. But, like our friends who ran up the huge debts, unless we get brutally honest with ourselves, we’ll never get free of the grip of overeating.

Every twelve step recovery group, including overeaters anonymous, begins with the self-admission/revelation that “we admitted we were powerless over _____ that our lives had become unmanageable.” And then, “We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.” These two powerful statements assume ownership of the problem, and set out the first part of a plan to take control of our lives again. When I was drinking alcoholically, I drank with resentment. I brooded and was angry. I was a self-pitying, sarcastic slob who drank because I was so full of fear I couldn’t face real life. Until I admitted what a coward I was, and that my unmanageable life was due to my own fear, anger and self-pity, I was unable to even see that I was my own worse problem. When I made that admission of my powerlessness, and began to probe beneath the surfaces of my own denial, and to confess all those problems, I began to change into a happier person, a more confident person, and a person who no longer needed alcohol.

Am I suggesting that “emotional eaters” are basket cases like alcoholics? Not really. I doubt any of you are morally bankrupt like most alcoholics, but I’ll bet you’re not as happy as you’d like to be either. Nor are you truly free and joyous.

Tell yourself the truth. Tell others the truth. Once you do that, and once you admit that you overeat because you want to, then you’re on your way to getting hold of that problem. And if you don’t tell the truth to yourself, then it truly IS YOUR FAULT!