Mar 13
Perfectionism, a Fatal Flaw in a Challenge!
The following is a rerun from a blog on the Body for Life website. It was published on 9/18/07 and if you have time you should read the reader comments. They are actually better than the blog itself. Here’s a link to the original blogsite. You will have to navigate on your own to get the comments at the end of the 9/18/07 blog: http://bodyforlife.com/community/blog.asp?author=mharris&apL=4
In the real world of Body for Life, here is how perfectionism usually operates. The person decides that he or she has “had it,” that they are going to renounce their current way of living, lose X number of pounds, and get and stay in shape forever. They buy the book; read it carefully; make tremendous preparations just as recommended in the book; plan all their meals and workouts; do all their shopping, and begin in earnest early on a Monday morning. Within a week, they will miss a workout, or grab an unauthorized food and wolf it down, or encounter some personal crisis which suddenly attracts all their attention, and BANG, just like that, their challenge grinds to a complete halt. Then, they resolve to start over and do it again perfectly.
See, the reason that the perfectionism is such a fatal flaw is that it always makes you quit, and never allows for a mistake that can be a teaching moment. Yet, the person who has it just doesn’t see this. They think of themselves as victimized by the temporary failure, and they see “do overs” as just part of the way of achieving the perfect result. There’s no such thing! And the end result of the perfectionist is always the same–they quit! In the end, they are usually much worse off than they were when they started.
How do you beat perfectionism? Well, in a way, it is like a cockroach–it doesn’t like the light! So, admit it to yourself, and put the light of truth on what you are doing, and your ridiculous way of behaving will become evident to you. The wall of denial will crack, and you’ll be able to accept less than perfect, and to get on with your life in an oderly manner. The second thing you can do is to realize that it is far more important to keep your self-promises than it is to do anything perfectly, because breaking promises to yourself causes a complete lack of self-confidence in due time.
March 16th, 2009 at 3:55 pm
YES!!!! This is me, I have started and quit BFL numerous times over the past 10 years, all because I did something “bad”. So I would quit and start over from day 1. It is a terrible way to be, I have always called it the “all or none” thing. If I’m on track, I’m on track on all accounts, but if I mess up 1 little thing in my life, holy cow, its’ the end of the world, and everything is off track (nutrition,workouts, moods, sleep, everything and then feel so ashamed and disappointed for letting myself down. It is a terrible way to live life. Now that I have recognized this and what it has done to me, I have been really working at this, and like everything else, it is a work in progress. I am trying to learn to respect myself and by doing so will respect the completion of the BFL program. Thanks for all you do Mike!
March 16th, 2009 at 6:31 pm
Ditto for me. I’ve done this with several diets. I’ve blown it by mid-week, so I just eat like crazy from Wed-Sunday and then start over. Imagine where I would be if I had just faced my mistake and gotten over it and back on track.