Without singling out anyone, I want to discuss the occasional posts on the guestbook that make it sound like the primary goal of a person’s challenge is to “show” someone how well the person can do. It generally revolves around the rather obstructive attitude of a spouse, significant other, former significant other, or a friend, and the goal is generally to get a good result and then push that into the face of the other person!

Well, I would just say that revenge, or even just plain old resentment, makes pretty lousy fuel to power a good challenge. I say this with some experience, because until I recovered from chronic alcoholism, my life pretty much consisted of living on alcohol, anger, resentment, envy, and the ultimate emotion that these produce–SELF PITY! I learned that no resentment is worth keeping, and that I simply couldn’t afford the luxury of carrying it around with me. Most importantly, I learned that I was getting something out of being resentful, though I certainly wasn’t consciously aware of it at the time.

The worst thing that resentment does is to turn over to another person the power to make you happy, sad or angry. The end product of all that frustration, unhappiness and dissatisfaction is to produce self pity and depression.

So, the heck of it is that you can really get going on a good challenge, to stuff it in someone’s face, but ultimately you’re going to be so unhappy that being fit is going to seem pretty much nothing at all.

It is far better to forgive the offense of the other and to spare all the agony–or better yet–overlook the offense and not even get angry. How do you do that? By treating them just as you would if they were completely supportive of you. By giving them the save attention, love and services you would under ideal conditions. This might not change them, but it will change you. It will FREE YOU to be the person you want to be, the person God wants you to be. Forgiveness is critical, to YOU, not them.

This is the toughest blog I’ve ever written. Millie the wonder dog, my 13 year old Brittany Spaniel, died last evening, July 10 2009 at home in Okemos Michigan. This is her “obituary.”

Millie Ruth Harris, a pure bred Brittany Spaniel, was born on April 24 1996 in Wichita Kansas. She was to be my son Eric’s hunting dog. Eric and my wife Ruth picked out Millie because she was “so cute and lively and kept running away from the other puppies of the litter!” How appropriate would those words turn out to be.

Millie soon left Kansas, where the bird hunting was plentiful, when we moved to Michigan in March 1997. She was there to keep my wife company while I was working and before we had made any real friends. It was while walking Millie that Ruth met one of her fast friends. In reality, though, you didn’t walk Millie–she walked you! She was so strong and so headstrong that she literally pulled on the leash all the way, glancing back with a look that said, “get the lead out–c’mon!”

That’s how the running thing got started. When I became interested in getting fit and needed to run as part of my regular cardio, no one wanted to run with me–except Millie! She was always ready, and she would literally drag me the entire two miles. Every day we would be out there, rain or shine, summer or winter.  Running with her in winter was perilous. More than once she pulled me right through a stop sign on icy streets with cars coming at us! Her winter specialty, though, was to run down by the river, run off the roadway and dive into a bunch of raspberry bushes that usually held rabbits and thorns of course. She would get hopelessly tangled up in the leash and the bushes and I’d have to go extract her!

Her other regular specialty was running away. She had a way of winning your confidence and lulling you into the notion that she’d stay in the yard while you were gardening or lying in the sun. And somehow in a moment she would be gone! We live in a village, but our home is right on the edge of a large wooded area with the river, so  when she took off, you had almost no idea how to find her again. She never came back home either! But, she would always eventually show up at the home of Ruth’s friend, the one she met while walking Millie.

In the last year Millie developed arthritis and was unable to run anymore. She took it much better than I did. I really missed her out there. Within the last few months she began to decline noticably and quickly. The vet tried what he could but said in a vettish way that she was just old and we should feed her well and keep her comfortable.

Though she was agitated and breathing heavily before she died naturally, she did not seem to suffer any pain or even any real  stress until just a couple of hours before she left us. She died right where she spent her spare time, sleeping on her side on her favorite pillow on our deck.

I’ve never been attached to an animal like Millie.  I miss her much already. I buried her this morning in the back yard area she loved.  This is hard!

PRINCIPLES TO TRANSFORM BY!
by: Michael Harris 7/2/2008
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1. Act your way to better thinking! In spite of opinion to the contrary, you cannot think your way into the right attitude, but taking the right actions will produce the right attitude. Do what you don’t feel like doing, and then you’ll feel like doing it!

2.When things look the worst, that’s the best time to begin a transformation! Popular opinion to the contrary, self-hatred may be the best chance you have to make a winner of yourself. It’s the good in you that hates the bad, and you have to talk to the good, feed it and grow it, and kill off all the bad. If you were all bad, you’d hate others rather than yourself!

3. To be successful, act successful! Successful people get up early, show up regularly, ready to play, and in uniform! They also keep their promises to themselves and others, even when it hurts! Your reputation is your only stock in trade, and your inner transformation is only as good as your reputation. You cannot sell it if you do not have it!

4. See that reflection in the mirror? You are looking at the problem!There is a world of difference between a condition and a problem. If it’s something you cannot control, you don’t have a problem, you have a condition. Though you cannot change it, you can change your perspective and view of it. The one problem you can for sure work on is you! Accept what you cannot change and change what you can—know the difference!

5. Just like your body, your spirit needs regular exercise as well! A. Deep knee bends—at prayer time. B. Stooping, to help another who cannot help himself.C. Reading the scripture or other sacred writings. Memorize a key thought each week.

6. The biggest impediments to a transformation, fear, resentment, envy and self-pity. Fear will paralyze you; force you to withdraw from your activity, and eventually drive you into hiding and depression. Action in the face of fear is the cure. Resentment will corrode you spiritually and emotionally from the inside out. Nothing worth doing can be accomplished in the face of resentment. Forgiveness is the only option. Envy will keep you from celebrating the achievements of others, and make you bitter, and self-pity will keep you in hiding forever!

7. Transforming is a risky enterprise! No risk, no gain!  There is significant risk in every transformation, risk of injury, embarrassment, failure or problems with relationships. A transformation challenge without risk is not worth doing. You can do more than you think you can! Your risk will be rewarded if you work as hard as you can!

8. Doing a couple’s challenge? Know your partner! A couple’s challenge will stretch, stress and test your relationship like nothing else. To make it rewarding, remember this:
A. A woman’s deepest needs are unconditional love and security. Without them, she is NOT happy! Unconditional love is to be given, and is not earned! “quit whining” is not love language!
B. A man’s deepest need is respect. Respect is unconditional and is not earned. Letting a man know through word or deed that you believe he is deficient in some material way, in strength, knowledge or passion, will wound him far more than you can imagine. Comparing his results to another man who looks better is also not a good idea.

9. Self-promotion never achieves worthy goals! Self-promotion always leads to frustration and disappointment. No amount of success or adulation is ever enough for the self-promoted person. Why then do we take those photos and do those essays? So that others will know, and will have assurance that you did what you said you did and that they too can do it.

10. The greatest thing a champion can do–leave a legacy!
A. If all you leave behind when you’re done is a leather jacket and a trophy, you have wasted your time and missed the whole point!
B. To leave a legacy, look within your spheres of influence (family, organizations or work) and find people who will do what you did, and will pass it on to others. Will your family emulate you or mock you in the end? It depends on YOU!