Friends, there are five elements to every truly complete transformation and believe it or not, they all begin with a P. Some of them you’ll look forward to, and some you’ll dread as they loom, but each one is absolutely certain to come along during your 12 or 18 week journey to a new you. They are the complete package, and this blog summarizes them. Let’s dive in, shall we?

            PURPOSE: Purpose is the foundation, walls and roof of your transformation. You were created for a purpose, and everything you do should be on purpose, and for a purpose. There is nothing in life as futile as doing something without a purpose. As you get ready for your transformation, think deeply about what you wish to accomplish (your goals) and also about what you will do with yourself once you achieve it. In other words, have a noble purpose, something that will benefit not just you, but others as well.  You see,  “I’m getting rid of my muffin top” is a purpose, but it is a pretty shallow one; whereas, “getting my diabetes under control so I can get back to work again” will benefit not only the trainee, but the family and others in his sphere of influence as well. So, have a carefully-thought-out, achievable and durable purpose that will last far beyond the end of your transformation.

            PREPARATION: This is critical. If you are one of those “ready, fire, aim!” kinds of folks, you will be frustrated and unfulfilled, probably ineffective too, during most of your challenge time. You have to do your shopping, your workout planning, and manage the entire structure of your life in a way that gives your transformation great priority, but which does not frustrate you or those around you. Don’t just prepare a week ahead—look way out, to anticipate any events in the time period of your transformation that you must cope with.

            PASSION:  Porter Freeman didn’t use this word, but he described it perfectly when he simply said, “you have to want it.” And, this is so hard, and so long, that you have to REALLY want it in order to last. That means starting with passion, a true desire of the mind, will and spirit to accomplish this thing.  That’s why you need the before photos to look at, the progress photos to keep you going,  and why you DON’T need to depend on the scales or the compliments of family or co-workers to keep you going. Passion has to come from within, and if you don’t have it, you’re setting yourself up for failure.  You get passion the old fashioned way, by ACTING passionately about something. Once you act that way, the feelings will follow.

            PAIN: This is the one you’re not looking forward to, but trust me—it’s truly mandatory in a great transformation. Don’t go looking for it—it’s like Enterprise Car Rental—it will come to you!  I’m talking about both physical and emotional pain here. One often causes the other, and they ride together in most peoples’ lives. But, why is it necessary? Well, why do you suppose the military and para-military groups put their elite troops through the pain of drills and survival exercises? Two reasons: it helps them to build character and endurance; and it teaches them that they can do more than they ever thought they could. When pain sets in, you’ll hear the old tapes running through your head—the ones that tell you: “that’s good enough; you can quit now; no sense in making a fool of yourself or going crazy here.” Those are the old ideas that always kept you from being the real person you want to be, and when you face down pain and keep going when every fiber in your body wants to quit, you ARE building character and endurance—as well as realizing you can do more than you thought you could.

            PERSEVERANCE: This is the lasting quality that will get you to the finish line, because of or in spite of all of the above-mentioned things.  This is also the rarest of good qualities. Without perseverance you’ll just find yourself with a collection of half-read books, half-completed journals, and half baked ideas, starting over and over again. And the saddest part of it that you won’t even realize it’s your own fault! As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “The great majority of men are bundles of beginnings.”  The best way to ensure perseverance is to do or go through all of the other things, purpose, preparation, passion, and pain. By doing so, you will build so much value into this transformation that quitting is simply not going to be an option.

            You can do this! But you can’t do this successfully without a good deal of work in both the head and the heart! It’s a simple program, but it’s not easy. Mastering or conquering the P’s will definitely be the key to getting to the finish line safely and successfully.

How are your free days going?

I can’t think of anything that is a better predictor of whether someone is going to succeed in a body for life transformation than how the free days go. For those of us who have problems managing a safe and sane free day, it not only slows our progress if we pig out all day long, but it greatly increases our chances of giving up before the twelve weeks is over. It is not just the food itself, it is the guilt and shame that comes with the monstrous overeating, the depression that ensues from that, and the additional overeating that occurs as the trainee begins to give up. Pretty soon, the old “what’s the use?” rears its ugly head, and then the person is thinking that there must be a better, easier solution somewhere else.

I agree that BFL is anything but easy. It’s darned hard in fact. But unlike diets, what you are doing with body for life is utterly different than just losing weight. What you are doing with the carefully structured 6 small meals a day, and the intense but short exercising, is prompting and encouraging your body to burn fat and gain muscle at the very same time. This of course is great, but it also comes at a price. It requires constant disicpline and attention to what one is doing. Even on free day, it requires that a person have the discipline to stop at the end of the day. Those who cannot do this are not bad people, but they just have bad problems with food. Rather than a free DAY, for them a free MEAL is probably the very best idea.

I see the same patterns in people on BFL who cannot or will not manage their food intake as I did in myself and others when I was going through treatment for alcoholism. In other words, it is not a simple, easy matter to just stop overeating, because the addiction is a complex symptom of a much deeper problem.

Body for Life provides great temporary structure for those who struggle with an eating disorder. But by itself it is not designed to cure that eating disorder. Those who continue to struggle will want to look into some 12 step programs dealing with food or similar addictions if they hope to live a long, healthy life free of battles with food. It’s really not the food–it’s the underlying problem, and that’s where the 12 step programs can really step up (pardon the pun) and deal with the underlying issues.

I realize I’m not talking to the majority of those who read this blog, but there are lots of people who lurk on the website, and many of them read the guestbook and the blogs. My hope is that they might see this, and that if they are a person with an eating disorder that they will hang in there with the program of body for life, and that they will also take that next step, to forgiving themselves or others, and to looking into a specialized voluntary support group that can help them to confront their underlying problems without having to give up on their dreams to be healthy and free.

God bless, everyone!

O.K., maybe there ARE some things that are more worthless than what I’m about to talk about, but in the world of transformation athletics, these things–all mindsets–are right up close to the top! If you have them, read this carefully, and I’ll show you at the end how to get rid of them. They are challenge killers.

 GOOD INTENTIONS! This is the mindset that keeps saying to self and others, “O.K., that’s it! Tomorrow I’m absolutely going to start back on this with all I’ve got. No cheating, no missing workouts, no way–I’m in it to win it!” I cringe whenever I see that, because the word “tomorrow” is the clue that it will NEVER HAPPEN! This is just an immature way of acting and reasoning that has always led this person to failure after failure, but somehow it still makes sense to them to say it again and again. Good intentions–as the old saying goes, “the road to hell is paved with them.”

2. PERFECTIONISM! A perfectionist sets out to do this whole program just perfectly. And, when it can’t be done, he or she just starts over, and over, and over. Eventually, over and over leads to dropping out, and our perfectionist is always worse off than when they started. By the way, I also hate the saying “progress, not perfection,” not because it is wrong, but it is misused as an excuse for not trying your best. You owe it to yourself and others to try as hard as you can, but you owe it to yourself to also keep going when you don’t measure up to your own standards.

3. LIVING IN THE PAST! I’ll be 63 this week, and so I have lots of friends who are senior citizens. Unfortunately for many of them, real living stopped a while back, about the time they retired from their workplaces. When they talk with other guys, it’s all about what they used to do, and it not only is boring, but they don’t even realize that talking about things that start with “I remember the time…” really keeps them from forward vision about anything more important than looking for their sneakers so they can get to the early bird special. DON’T BE THAT GUY! Living in the past is not only ineffective, it becomes a way of slowly dying instead of living life to the utmost. You owe it to yourself and others to be the best you can be–TODAY! Not tomorrow, not perfectly, and not in the past!

The solution for killing off each one of these mindsets? ACTION. Consistent and persistent appropriate and effort-filled actions will eradicate these silly crutches. You’ll feel different once you take the right actions. You’ll think different. And others will like you a heck of a lot better. So, throw out your McDonald’s senior coffee cup, dust off those weights, and get back in the game–TODAY!

Someone asked me recently, “What are the three most important things I need to know to get and stay as fit as you are?” (This person doesn’t read this website, so let me just say that he is one of those people who prides himself on being intelligent, insightful, and efficient. So, that’s why he usually fails!) Here is what I told him:

1. Never fail to work out just because you don’t feel like it. Do the workout, and then you’ll feel like it.
2. Write down everything that goes in your mouth BEFORE it goes in your mouth.
3. Do something at least once a week to help someone who cannot pay you back, and don’t tell anyone about it.

My friend was disappointed. He simply said, “there has to be more to it than that.”  My response was, “these are the most important–the rest of it anyone can do.”

I am absolutely certain that he won’t follow this advice. His whole purpose in asking me that question was to try to find the “trick” or the best “tips” to getting fit. But, the bottom line is that each one of the principles I set out for him is something that most people have completely backwards. Most people believe that action follows moods, but the truth is that you must act your way to better thinking. Most people think that a diet journal should have in it what you’ve already eaten. But, writing it down before you eat it usually changes bad habits much more quickly. And so far as helping others anonymously, most people–though they rarely would admit to it–are looking for someone to help them so they can get ahead of others–which is why they never do!

I’ll bet you thought that was a ridiculous title for a blog when you first read it, didn’t you! Well, hear me out before you write this off as silliness, please!

For those of you in other countries or just having come back from an alien kidnapping for 5 years or more, Michael Vick is an American football player who went to prison for operating a dog fighting business on the side, and for assorted other crimes based on his initial failure to come clean about what he was doing. He’s served his prison time and now is trying to make a comeback as a football player, and so the instantaneous news outlets are all debating the issue of whether all or certain parts of the USA can ever “forgive Michael Vick” for what he’s done.

Well, I don’t plan on EVER forgiving Michael Vick, only not for the reason you might think. I don’t plan on forgiving him because he never did anything to me to forgive him of.

See, this is where so many of us get it wrong—and also where we ourselves go so terribly and needlessly wrong. We take offense for something that never was meant to offend us, and then we carry that resentment or hatred in our heart forever.  The bottom line—and this is a critical spiritual principle—is that if you take up an offense for another, or just take up an offense against someone even though you’ve never been personally harmed by them, you have no real ability to forgive them. Those harmed or truly offended have the power to forgive them, and they will experience the healing that comes from forgiveness. BUT, if you who really were not the target of the behavior take up an offense against the person who did it, you’ll find yourself battling with recurring anger, resentment and all the other corrosive things that come from it.

But what in the heck does unforgiveness have to do with transformations? Everything, that’s all! See, a physical transformation that brings you no joy or achieves no change in your heart is worthless, and it will soon disappear. If you still have that hard heart and that bitter spirit inside, you’ll soon find yourself medicating with ice cream, pizza, brownies, beer, wine and prescription medications, all in an attempt to kill the pain of unforgiveness.

What is the way out? Admitting it. In order to admit you have unforgiveness you first have to look within fearlessly and fully. You can do that by thinking about the things that trouble you on a daily basis, the things you fear or avoid on a daily basis, and journaling about them or talking to a confidant about them. Soon, you can connect the dots, and I promise you that you’ll find an old, old resentment or huge offense against you in your past that you’ve never dealt with. And you will also find more than a couple of Michael Vicks in there too.

To get rid of the Michael Vicks is easy. Just recognize the mistaken offense and turn that whole issue over to your Higher Power and you’re done.  The true offenses you’ve never forgiven require real work. They require an intentional and active forgiveness, and a relentless unwillingness to bury that issue again until it is resolved. When you get it done, you’ll have the ability to feed your spirit good things again, and to experience true forgiveness of yourself as well as others. You’ll be able to feel joy again, perhaps for the first time in years, and you’ll be FREE! That freedom will allow you to break the grip of the drugs, alcohol, food or behavior that keeps enslaving you, that keeps defeating your attempts to complete a real transformation.

If you need help with the steps to forgiveness, drop me an email, which I will keep completely confidential, and I’ll try to help you.

Rick Warren, one of my all-time favorite authors and speakers, has a way with words and memorable phrases.  They aren’t just entertaining either; they’re very useful and life-changing in spiritual matters.

Here are some of my favorite phrases he uses: Of himself, he says, “Yes, I’m an addict–I’m addicted to changed lives!” I love that one,  because it describes me too.  I write these blogs and do all the speaking I do not because Body for Life, especially the spiritual aspect of it, has done so much for me and for others as well, and seeing others “get it” really does give me a rush! If you have to have an addiction, what more could you ask for than being addicted to helping others change their lives for the better?

Here’s another “Warrenism.”  “Resentment is the result of what others have done to you; guilt is the result of what you’ve done to others. We are not made to live with guilt or resentment,  because we were made to treat others and be treated by others with respect and good intentions.” [this is actually a paraphrase of a much longer talk on the topic.]  I love this saying, because  guilt and resentment cause more problems than all other human emotions put together–except fear. Guilt causes physical and mental deterioration, hiding and low self-esteem. It often leads to alcoholism or other chemical abuse. Resentment has exactly the same effects. Every twelve step or similar recovery program in the country recognizes these facts by steps that require people to deal quickly and thoroughly with guilt and resentment so that the cycle of dependency can be broken.  What I love about Warren’s statement is that he nails the reason that guilt and resentment harm us so much–we were not designed to treat or be treating cruelly. That’s just not the fuel we should run on.

One more: “Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it’s kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life. No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on. …You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems. If you focus on your problems, you’re going into self-centeredness, which is ‘my problem, my issues, my pain.’ But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.”

I don’t think I even need to tell you why I love that quote so much. Simply, it directs us to the solution and directs us away from self-centeredness or self-pity.

I hope you enjoyed these. More importantly, I hope you remember them and put them into practice. They’ll help you love others, love God, and love yourself appropriately–which is the true secret of the good life!

For Fitness Fanatics who crave a site that uses real names instead of names like “Hippy Pickle” and for people who want to be able to talk about their faith and hope with others, there is something “new” yet old that is ready for you now!  Just go to http://bflspirit.com/ and you can get started with the completely revived and reworked website that is the successor to the Torch. It will let you do anything you can do on any of the other sites, pictures, blogs, a database for your challenge, and you’ll enjoy the experience.

Plus, you will not find Hippy Pickle on there and have to run the risk of figuring out whether you’re communicating with a man or a woman or a sociopath!  Come see us! I am a regular blogger there, and there are several other writers you can read as well in case you’re getting sick of my blabber!

God Bless!