I’ll bet you thought that was a ridiculous title for a blog when you first read it, didn’t you! Well, hear me out before you write this off as silliness, please!

For those of you in other countries or just having come back from an alien kidnapping for 5 years or more, Michael Vick is an American football player who went to prison for operating a dog fighting business on the side, and for assorted other crimes based on his initial failure to come clean about what he was doing. He’s served his prison time and now is trying to make a comeback as a football player, and so the instantaneous news outlets are all debating the issue of whether all or certain parts of the USA can ever “forgive Michael Vick” for what he’s done.

Well, I don’t plan on EVER forgiving Michael Vick, only not for the reason you might think. I don’t plan on forgiving him because he never did anything to me to forgive him of.

See, this is where so many of us get it wrong—and also where we ourselves go so terribly and needlessly wrong. We take offense for something that never was meant to offend us, and then we carry that resentment or hatred in our heart forever.  The bottom line—and this is a critical spiritual principle—is that if you take up an offense for another, or just take up an offense against someone even though you’ve never been personally harmed by them, you have no real ability to forgive them. Those harmed or truly offended have the power to forgive them, and they will experience the healing that comes from forgiveness. BUT, if you who really were not the target of the behavior take up an offense against the person who did it, you’ll find yourself battling with recurring anger, resentment and all the other corrosive things that come from it.

But what in the heck does unforgiveness have to do with transformations? Everything, that’s all! See, a physical transformation that brings you no joy or achieves no change in your heart is worthless, and it will soon disappear. If you still have that hard heart and that bitter spirit inside, you’ll soon find yourself medicating with ice cream, pizza, brownies, beer, wine and prescription medications, all in an attempt to kill the pain of unforgiveness.

What is the way out? Admitting it. In order to admit you have unforgiveness you first have to look within fearlessly and fully. You can do that by thinking about the things that trouble you on a daily basis, the things you fear or avoid on a daily basis, and journaling about them or talking to a confidant about them. Soon, you can connect the dots, and I promise you that you’ll find an old, old resentment or huge offense against you in your past that you’ve never dealt with. And you will also find more than a couple of Michael Vicks in there too.

To get rid of the Michael Vicks is easy. Just recognize the mistaken offense and turn that whole issue over to your Higher Power and you’re done.  The true offenses you’ve never forgiven require real work. They require an intentional and active forgiveness, and a relentless unwillingness to bury that issue again until it is resolved. When you get it done, you’ll have the ability to feed your spirit good things again, and to experience true forgiveness of yourself as well as others. You’ll be able to feel joy again, perhaps for the first time in years, and you’ll be FREE! That freedom will allow you to break the grip of the drugs, alcohol, food or behavior that keeps enslaving you, that keeps defeating your attempts to complete a real transformation.

If you need help with the steps to forgiveness, drop me an email, which I will keep completely confidential, and I’ll try to help you.