There are many, many variables in transformation challenges but there is one thing that every successful challenge has in common—adversity.  Adversity is an unanticipated and serious interruption of the challenge routine, and it can be anything from an illness or injury to the unexpected loss of a loved one or some other disruption of a relationship.

When adversity comes to you, be prepared to welcome it, and to use it to your advantage during the remainder of the challenge. Yes, you read that right! I want you to literally welcome adversity. I’m not talking about being glad to see it, but acknowledging its presence, and accepting that this is the way it is. Then, set out to do what it takes to be a winner!

See, it’s not that I am a fan of adversity, I just don’t like pain or suffering. But, I do like what it does to those who are willing to assume the appropriate mindset when it comes. There is an old saying, that has some real truth to it, and it goes like this: “What does not kill you will make you stronger.”
Here are some examples of real live adversity that has propelled people to championship results:
1. Jerry Braam, a 2001 champion, spent a week in the hospital with the flu, and as soon as he got out, he went right back to his challenge and achieved remarkable results, becoming a champion in his age group.
2. Julie Whitt did her challenge with the breathing capacity of one-half of one lung, and literally had to wear supplementary oxygen while working out. She became the 2004 inspirational champion.
3. Margi Faze, the 2007 grand master champion, spent nearly two weeks at home, unable to exercise, because she had to take care of a daughter with a fractured collarbone.
4. Though it was not a body for life challenge, Denise Taylor did her daily workouts at the hospital where her daughter was receiving treatments for cancer. She missed no time at all with her daughter, and exercised while she was asleep or in other routines at the hospital. Her accomplishments and the celebration of her daughter’s life are videos you can see over at transformation.com.
5. Though my situation was minor compared to others, I too saw that welcoming adversity could help more than anything else. I was simply unable to do most of the exercises when I started on August 26 2006, due to injuries, but just did what I could and stuck with the diet very strictly. In the end,  the pain was gone, and the world looked completely different than it did twelve weeks before!

See, it’s interesting that as human beings we crave comfort, ease and wealth. Yet, when we grow stronger is when we are placed under stress and sometimes even painful conditions.  This is not only a physical phenomenon, but a spiritual phenomenon as well. The Apostle Paul found his ministry most successful when he was in chains in prison; Martin Luther King wrote his most important work ever when he was in a Birmingham jail cell. Every sacred writing I am aware of, through doctrine or historical references, makes clear that those of faith are called to suffer as a part of their spiritual journey.

So, when adversity comes, welcome it. How? First of all, by calling it what it is and owning up to it. My big issue was self-pity, and self-pity is like a cockroach. If you call it what it is, you shed light on it, and just like a cockroach, the self-pity will go away because it hates the light.  Second, make a careful assessment. No matter how bad the problem is, you’re going to have to eat anyway, right? So, if all else fails, you can at least eat right. Do that!  And don’t quit trying just because someone told you that you couldn’t do ANY exercises at all. See, doctors are busy, and they hate to see their work undone, so they often just tell you something like, “no exercise for 6 weeks, until you get that ankle healed.” Well, common sense would tell you that as long as you’re not doing lower body exercises, that there are many, many things you can do to keep your upper body occupied. Do those things. The key is to stop worrying about what you CAN’T do, and to start doing what you CAN do.

Simple enough, don’t you think? So, when adversity comes, welcome it; quit whining; and start winning!

One of the most common reasons given for failing to successfully finish a challenge is peer pressure. Peer pressure is a real and powerful phenomenon. But it’s not as simple as it seems. Most people who feel what they say is peer pressure are experiencing a combination of peer pressure and low self-confidence. This is an important point, because the cure for one will not affect the other.

See, if you just lack self-confidence– which is a form of fear–you’ll always be tempted to take the way of least resistance, and others are always willing to allow you to do that, because it also makes life easier for them. For example, if you forced your spouse to do a transformation with you, once you lose confidence and decide to quit, that also relieves your spouse of having to do a transformation. It wasn’t your spouse who pressured you into quitting—it was your lack of confidence in yourself that did you in. The cure for all fear is right actions. If you do the next right thing in front of you for a while, you’ll realize that what you thought was all peer pressure was mostly just your own lack of self-confidence (fear) and others taking advantage of it.

If the peer pressure is real, that’s different. There, you need a few people who will be there for you, who are of the same mind you are. You need a small “community.” These should be BFL’ers who share the same goals and passions you do. This doesn’t mean they have to be there all the time, but you have to have people who can help you get through something with a phone call or an email or some other form of personal contact. With these like-minded people, you will not feel alone and vulnerable, and you’ll be able to resist the temptation that comes from your peers. You’ll feel like you’re doing something important and worth standing up for. This is the power of community. The stories of loners often make great movies, but in real life, loners get devoured!

Peer pressure never stops. It’s worst in your younger years, because you don’t have the experience to understand that being in with the in-crowd is not the way to happiness. But, even at my age, 63, peer pressure is here to stay. There are two ways for me to lose in a peer pressure situation, to give in to it, or to let the peers anger me. Either one diminishes my peace. Today, I choose to stay aligned with small groups of strong people who help me stay on track, and I choose to respect and accept people who disagree with me, without letting it bother me. It’s not easy to deal with others who are trying to change us, but it is certainly possible to do so. The key is to let them know that you are committed to what you are committed to, that they cannot change that, but that you respect them even though you do not agree with them. Be forewarned that any contact they initiate after you let them know there is no way you’re changing will usually be for the purpose of still trying to change you!

To review, look first within yourself to see if the perceived peer pressure is coming from your fears rather than from others. If it is from within, keep doing the next right thing in front of you, and you’ll conquer your fears. If it is from others, begin by accepting them and respecting them without allowing them to change you, and stay close to your small community.

I see it on the Body for Life guestbook all the time. The message from the newbie usually goes like this:
“I am really desperate to get fit. I can’t believe I have let myself go so far. I’ve got to do this now. HELP!!!
If our newbie only knew exactly how appropriate the word desperate was for his or her situation! The dictionary definition of desperation is:
“state of reckless behavior due to despair.”

And that is exactly what happens. The desperate newbies, out of recklessness, do not read the book thoroughly; they plan poorly or not at all; they crash diet, eating fitfully and poorly and without the energy to support the changes they want; they begin exercising without any clue of what they are doing; and soon enough they are either discouraged, or injured or out of energy, or all of these!

Why do they do this? Because it at least feels like they are finally doing something. See, most people who come here in desperation have lived much of their lives in that mode. They don’t know how to live proactively and to set and achieve goals in an organized manner. So, they simply let everything go until it reaches a crisis mode or dies of neglect. This is true for everything pretty much, but especially of things they don’t find naturally enjoyable. This is why students cram for tests; this is why toothaches always occur on weekends; this is why people are suddenly shocked to find that their expenses exceed their incomes.

Can desperate people be helped or will they just be here in roman candle mode, going from a bright shining ball of fire to small glob of ashes in just a moment? Well, it depends on whether they can catch one really important idea and understand the truth of it. Here is is:

DESPERATION IS NOT A SUITABLE SUBSTITUTE FOR PREPARATION, INFORMATION, AND PERSPIRATION—FROM WHICH FLOWS MOTIVATION!

See, what works to change poor habits and to produce concrete results is careful preparation, which means setting goals and readying yourself for the 12 week journey; thorough information, which comes from reading the book and understanding the process of what you are about to undertake; and perspiration, which is hard work in both the dieting and the exercise parts of this 12 week journey. After you do those things for a time, you’ll see some results, gain some confidence and then you’ll have motivation! You have to invest in your challenge before you will truly want to continue to do it. People always have this principle backwards. They confuse desperation with motivation, and they think it will carry them to the finish line. But true motivation comes from right actions not vice versa. That’s why listening to motivational speakers is not enough. It is the miracle of the moment and as soon as the speech is over the motivation begins to fade. To get lasting motivation you have to begin the behavior changes you want so badly.

As they say in the twelve step groups: “You have to act your way into better thinking instead of trying to think your way into better actions!”

So, if you are a desperate newbie, or you’re talking to one, be sure to remind yourself or the one you’re talking to that actions produce appropriate positive feelings and that desperation and all the recklessness that comes from it simply leads to a more spectacular failure.