“Most of you people have read enough of my writings on the forums or guestbooks or blogsites to know that I have little patience for people who are just not at all committed to the cause. And my lack of patience is for a good reason–I want to help those people who have not only potential, but true desire to make their lives better. I just don’t have the time or skills to figure out how to motivate the unmotivated, to educate the unwilling, or to rescue those who don’t want to be saved!

See, “potential,” which I define as “ability that has stalled in the middle of the road” is not your friend–it is actually your enemy. “Potential” is one of those words that works best at a funeral or when ruminating about someone who has gone on–either by dying or going to prison! It’s a sad word, usually in sentences like, “it’s too bad about what happened to him–he has sooo much potential!” And the person with the potential is usually the last to know–he’s certain he’s smarter and more gifted than the rest of us–and that his time is coming soon.

Want a concrete example of “potential?” How about football player Lawrence Phillips? Never heard of him? Well, he was a terrific running back at the University of Nebraska–an early favorite to receive the Heisman trophy, and then too bad about that time he dragged his girlfriend down the stairs by her hair and beat her up and got suspended! But they worked with him and he finished out his college career early and went with the St. Louis Rams. 6th overall in the draft, Phillips was expected to be great with St. Louis but was kicked off the team for being unwilling to practice or follow orders and Coach Vermeil at the time called Phillips “potentially” the best running back he had ever coached.

Phillips then went to Miami where he was soon cut due to attitude and assaulting a woman in a nightclub. He laid out a while, played arena football and left the team without notice, went to canadian football where he was quickly suspended from two different teams for insubordination and arguing with coaches.

In 2005 he drove his automobile into a crowd of teenagers after playing playground football with them, and was jailed and eventually convicted of some of the assault charges for that. Currently he awaits sentencing on a charge of once again assaulting a woman, his girlfriend, and nearly choking her to death.

Larry Phillips, great potential–and hopeless future. Now, I am sure that most of the people who want help from you but are unwilling to do what you say, or to follow the rules, or to complete anything correctly, will not harm you or steal anything from you–except your time. But, your time is your most valuable resource.

So, before committing a great deal of time to rescue someone from himself, ask some good questions. “Why do you want to do BFL?” “What are your goals?” “Who are you doing this for?” “When is the last time you actually felt like a real success?” “What in your life will have to be rearranged or lowered in priority to allow you to do this?” If someone has no clue to any of these, then that is A CLUE that you might be dealing with someone who is just going to waste your time and ultimately blame you for their sorry results.

I firmly believe in helping others–even the helpless others. But, only if they truly want to change. If they are getting more out of staying sorry and sick than they would out of getting healthy, you’re wasting your time. Be generous with your time, but don’t cast your pearls before swine!