What’s the one quality you must have to successfully complete a transformation that changes you both on the outside and inside?
Many people would suggest things like perseverance, optimism, work ethic, discipline, high pain threshold, stuff like that. But I believe that the most important quality to success is TRUTH.
By TRUTH, I am talking about more than honesty. Here is an acronym that might help you to understand what I’m driving at. Truth is a character trait that is:
Total
Real
Unwavering
Trustworthy
Honesty
You’ve heard the saying that “The truth shall set you free?” Well, that’s what we’re really talking about here. Truth begins at home. It is much more than cash register honesty. Truth is being true to yourself, by not living a lie, by owning up to your shortcomings, by honoring all self-promises.
See, most people think that being truthful is just not telling lies to others, but TRUTH requires more than that. To have the character trait of TRUTH, you need to tell the truth to others, but the whole truth as well. Allowing another to have a wrong conclusions simply because you chose to stay silent is not TRUTH. TRUTH speaks out, even though it may harm the speaker to do so. THe most important person to be truthful with is you. Did you ever stop to think that in order to tell another a lie you first have to tell yourself one–you have to tell yourself that you are justified in telling that lie.
Lies are always revealed, which means that ultimately TRUTH wins out.
So no doubt you are wondering how it could be that TRUTH is such an important quality in a simple diet and exercise plan? Primarily it is because you have so many opportunities to fudge on the program, both overtly and covertly. You can simply choose to openly have an unauthorized food that is consumed in public in front of those who know you’re not supposed to eat it, or you can do it at home, late at night when no one is looking, and stuff yourself with your favorite food medication. Ice cream, toast with peanut butter melted on it, cookies, fudge, whatever! This behavior is even worse than the covert consumption in public, because you not only do wrong, but you take steps to cover it up. The ice cream box goes deep down in the trash and peanut butter is way back in the back of the cupboard–”no one will know.” Well, the one person who knows is YOU, and this type of activity, especially when it becomes secret, is deadly to your own self confidence and your own ability to ever keep promises. This is the perfect example of the great recovery saying, “You are only as sick as the secrets you keep.”
TRUTH does NOT come naturally to any of us. That’s why we find life so frustrating. We punish our children for lying to us, and the same day find ourselves lying to another about our intentions or what we did that day. TRUTH SETS US FREE, and the opposite enslaves us, and it also frustrates us, especially when we are trying to achieve a big goal.
There is much evil in the world, and some measure of it is coming from the insides of us. And when it does, when “Bad Mike” comes out instead of the person I had hoped to be that day, I disappoint myself for sure. But there is also much good in the world, and some of that is inside us as well. The key is to grow the good and starve the bad. Frankly, that’s the main reason that we should do anonymous deeds of charity during a challenge. Doing good intentionally creates and grows goodness in us and it starves the bad in us. And starving the bad gives you the chance to become a person of TRUTH.

Many first time challengers in the body for life transformation contest are puzzled by the term “inner transformation.” The scores that the judges use seem to give a great deal of value to a competitor’s inner transformation, so it certainly behooves you to understand exactly what is meant by that term.

Many people think that achieving a good inner transformation is all about raising one’s self esteem. Well, that is an indirect benefit of a good inner transformation, but it really isn’t what it is all about. What it is really about is achieving an entirely new way of prioritizing and directing your life. It’s all about actions rather than just feelings. If you feel good about yourself, but all you do is spend your time pleasing yourself, what good does that do anyone? But, if you spend your time adding value to others’ lives, not because you desire to make a bunch of money doing it or to get a measure of fame from doing it, then you have achieved an inner transformation worthy of a champion.

The word champion originally applied to someone appointed by the king to defend, protect and assist others and to place his life and future at risk while doing it. It applied to someone whose life literally represented true love in action. These were knights in shining armor, literally! So, a true champion’s inner transformation will result in a life of service to others without expectation of anything in return. This is a continual way of living out Bill Phillips’ term that he calls the “universal law of reciprocation. The remaining question, though, is how does this happen?

Well, first of all you must start your inner transformation just like you do your physical one, by measuring where you are inwardly. In other words, taking an inventory of your mindsets, of your fears, of your guilty feelings and secrets, of your resentments—of anything at all that will hold you back from success. To take this inventory, you’ll need a quiet place and an hour or two to truly look inward at yourself, and to truly be honest with yourself about where you are.

Think about people who have wronged you over the course of your life—and assess the feelings you have as you think about them. If your feelings are moving or painful, you have work to do—you have some forgiveness to do! Then, think about secrets you have kept about things you have done, or lies you have led for a long time. Kept secrets and lies both produce the same thing in you—guilt and shame. The key to this first phase is to make sure you have all the inner stumbling blocks down on paper and firmly in mind.

What next? Let’s start with the guilt and shame we mentioned above, that comes from the lies you have led or the secrets you have kept. Here, you have two things you need to do, confession and restitution. Confession of what you have done needs to be done with a trusted person who cannot be harmed by what you tell them, and who will keep your confidence. Restitution needs to be done as directly as possible. It can be done anonymously, and should be in some circumstances. But, if you harmed another who is still around, making direct restitution and asking for forgiveness from them can create a really powerful moment for the both of you. Be cautious, but don’t be cowardly—we’re trying to rid you of fear here, remember?

If forgiveness is required, first forgive others and then get to forgiving yourself. My personal opinion is that self-forgiveness is really required far more rarely than forgiveness of others. Active forgiveness requires praying for the person who wronged you, and treating them just like they are truly forgiven. Don’t open yourself up for more hurt, so don’t get cozy again with an ex or someone you used to be in a relationship with, but make absolutely certain that you no longer think or say anything derogatory about that person. If you wish to tell them you’ve forgiven them, you may. But, don’t expect anyone to be overwhelmed by that. Most people just don’t own up to what they’ve done to others—and some are even unaware of the fact that they deeply hurt you.

The combination of an excellent inner transformation and an effective outer transformation will truly attract people to you, and the opportunities to do good without expecting anything in return will be right in front of your face. If all you get is an effective outer transformation, you will truly have short-changed the most important person in your life—YOU!

According to Bill Phillips, the architect of this fabulous Body for Life system, the contest was designed as a way of giving people motivation to do the challenge and stick with it. But Dave and Amy Sayers are living proof that there are other ways of staying motivated when you can’t enter the contest. This is their story!

See, Dave Sayers, Amy’s husband, works for Abbott Nutrition, a company whose parent is Abbott Laboratories, which owns EAS as well as the Body for Life contest and products. Rules are rules, and the employees of the sponsor can’t enter the contest. But Abbott, being a company that is heavily invested in promoting employee health, has a corporate challenge. There, the Abbott employees competed to change their bodies into the healthiest and fittest they could be—in twelve weeks. Dave decided to enter that contest, and that’s how it all started. At least that’s how the healthy changes got started.

Dave and Amy’s relationship got started years before Dave started that corporate challenge. Amy and Dave fell in love in high school, but their paths separated for quite a while. Dave always knew they were meant to be soul mates, so in 1995 when they married, it was no surprise at all. On that wedding day, not only did Dave gain Amy as his life mate, he also became the stepfather of Amy’s two beautiful daughters, McLaine and Shelby.

Amy is an epileptic, and the seizures required some very strong medications. Those medications came with a huge price. In a very short time, Amy’s weight ballooned from a trim 130 pounds to 235 pounds. Not only that, but the seizure medications are tough on the liver, and as her weight rose, so did her cholesterol levels. Amy was faced with a weight that was uncomfortably high, cholesterol levels that were dangerously high, and a predicament—since cholesterol medications would only add to the liver stress from the anti-seizure meds. So, she made a literal life-changing decision. She joined Dave in the challenge and they did this transformation thing together!

Though for Amy the BFL routine was at first a struggle, Dave was used to physical exercise and had always wanted to do this contest anyway, so he took right to it. Soon, it became a regular routine for both of them, and their results, outside AND inside, have been nothing short of amazing.

The first challenge results were stunning. Between the two of them they lost a total of 70 pounds, about 35 pounds each! Though Amy’s highest weight was 235 pounds, she now weighs 137, and took 43 of those pounds off the BFL way in her first two challenges.

I have an entire picture gallery on my website, www.mikeharris.org dedicated to the Sayers’ pictures. They tell a great story in themselves, but they are only a part of it. I really like how Amy put it when I asked her how it went and what kept her motivated. Amy is a school teacher and expresses thoughts very well. “You know, even though I never entered an official challenge, the challenge was on within me from day one. No amount of recognition or prizes could ever compare to the assurance that I have inside me that I will be able to enjoy my later years with my children, and with their children. I have come to appreciate that I was given only one earthly body to last my life long and I have a responsibility to take care of it.”

Both Dave and Amy say that quitting was never an option once they got started together on this new road of life. Amy even got in the habit of getting up at 4:30 a.m. to do her cardio, so that her busy school days don’t leave her too tired to do it later in the day. The obstacles they have faced are just the same as those of you doing the contest have run into, eating clean, especially when no one is looking, knowing when you’re too sick to work out and need to rest, and just fitting this grand lifestyle in with all the other things this busy family has going—church activities, gymnastics meets for the girls, and lots of other things.

As to the great things that have come their way in addition to their svelte looks and better health, here is what Amy mentions in her interview responses:

“David and I have our priorities in line, and when two people put their health at the top of that list, great things happen for each of them. What’s nice about doing BFL together is that these great things happen for the two of you-together. David and I plan our weekly menu together, we shop together, and we coordinate our workout schedules together. To be able to openly discuss something that you are working so hard at each and every day is great. It’s not this separate thing that I do and want to tell him about, it’s something we share.

As far as accountability, well, to be honest, it’s quite “in your face” when it comes to doing it with the person you love the most. It drives me to stay on track, and I only get resentful once in awhile that his portion sizes are bigger than mine. Mind you, I can go head to head with him on free day!”

As for how David responded to that same question, read what he said here and see if you think he just might have some strong feelings for this “soul mate” of his.

“Before BFL and the way it has made me feel, both physically and mentally, I never fully realized how bad I used to feel. My brother had a valve blockage a few years ago that required Angioplasty and having a stint put in. After his surgery, it was so easy for him to breath and his stamina improved so much, that he then realized how hard it had been to breath before his surgery, and how often he had become short of breath. As we put on weight and become more and more out of shape, because this happens at a steady pace, we don’t necessarily notice the changes in how we feel physically. The greatest benefit I’ve received from BFL, physically, is how great I feel. I get around easier, I feel good, and I have stamina and endurance to handle anything I decide to do on a given day. My overall confidence has improved dramatically, because I feel like I can literally do anything I put my mind to. Physically, I know I can do it, and BFL has shown me that I’m mentally strong enough to do it too.

As for our relationship together, it has always been great. BFL has just made it even better. As I just said, the greatest benefit I’ve received from BFL, physically, is how great I feel. But without doubt, the number one greatest gift I’ve received from BFL is how great Amy feels about herself. When you truly love someone with your whole heart and being, there just isn’t anything in the world more important to you than their happiness. I knew for years before BFL, that Amy didn’t feel good about herself, and I had serious fears that she might never really feel good about herself ever again. That’s hard to deal with. I tried so hard to make sure that she felt loved and appreciated, but in the end, you can’t make anyone feel good about themselves, unless they feel good about themselves first. Body for Life has lifted the weight of the world (and actual body weight) off of Amy’s shoulders and now she feels as good about herself as I’ve always felt about her. There is no amount of money in this world that is equal to what that is worth to me. She has always been a beautiful person on the inside (where it counts the most,) but BFL has helped her to feel so good about herself on the outside, that now that inner beauty just radiates out from her every day, and that is really awesome to see!”

I asked these two what they’d like to say to those of you couples who are thinking about doing a challenge but really wondering if they can get through this. I can’t do any better than just quote what they wrote for you, because it sounds absolutely perfect. Here is Amy’s response:

 

“Realize that though you are doing this together, you each need to have separate goals. I have found that even if I might not eat something that David eats, or understand why he is doing his workout a particular way, that is ok. I don’t question what is working for him because I realize that the routines that we establish are very personal, even if we are both body for lifers. It makes for some great discussion, and David does a great job of answering my questions when I have them.

What you can do is this: When your spouse either needs to miss a day because of sickness, OR, if he/she doesn’t eat clean or misses a workout, point it out in a positive way. Last spring I had some seizures and didn’t work out a couple days because of it, and sometimes those nasty migraines still disrupt my day. David does a wonderful job of reminding me that a few days out of my life will not change the lifestyle I have chosen for myself. It is because I adhere to the program almost all the time, that make it ok when I’m sick and unable to work out. Also, if one of you eats unclean or misses a workout, well, because you CHOSE not to for one reason or another; don’t make your spouse feel bad about it. Instead, remind them to “isolate it” as we say at our house. Don’t dwell on it, move on, and make your next workout out or your next meal, a great one. Remind them this is NOT A REASON TO JUST GIVE UP A CHALLENGE OR EAT UNCLEAN THE REST OF THE DAY. “

And Dave offered this advice for you all:

“To me there are two huge reasons for couples to do this together.

1. Eating is so easy if you’re both following the program versus one following BFL and the other eating whatever and whenever.

2. As Amy noted, the encouragement you are able to give to each other is invaluable.”

 

Well, there was more in the transcript, including the fact that this couple spend some time volunteering at Notre Dame to help with seating folks at the Irish football games. That is why you see them in ND and usher’s garb in the one head shot photo in the gallery. Please take a look at those pictures, and just let it sink into your mind how truly amazing this life turnaround really is. About a hundred total pounds of fat, GONE, for Amy, and a healthy lifestyle that co-exists with a difficult condition, epilepsy. The girl of his dreams for Dave, 35 pounds of fat gone, and a healthy lifestyle as well! Oh, this family has the same challenges and “moments” that all the rest of us have, but they also have a tremendous commitment to the healthy lifestyle that is body for life, as well as lasting commitments to their faith, and to their family relationships.

Now you know why I wanted to tell you about Dave and Amy! If you have questions for them, or would like to contact them, let me know, and I’ll see if I can’t hook you up. They’re willing to help with questions you might have about their transformations!

Here’s how Amy summed up the entire body for life experience: “Mike, it is just so hard to put into words how [much] BFL has done for me. I thank God everyday for taking my life down this path.”

So do we, Amy, so do we!