April 4 Blog on Fear
by: Michael Harris 8/30/2007 The Greatest Enemy to Success!

Ready to start that last challenge of the year? You have 3 days left to get at it! A question: This has derailed more challenges than all the other things put together. It not only derails challenges, it tears up relationships, increases the chance of life-threatening diseases, causes us to break our promises to others and to ourselves, and eventually brings on self-loathing and loss of enjoyment of life itself. Know what it is? Injury? Not even close! Selfishness? Getting warmer. Addiction? It’s usually part of addiction, but it’s not the answer either.

FEAR! That’s what I’m talking about. And unless you can master fear, you will find yourself sitting one the sideline while others who have no more talent than you do take the prizes and reap the rewards of life. Some people are fearful but don’t really think they are. What they do is gently and deceptively relabel this most corrosive all human emotions. They will call it “concern,” or “anxiety” or getting a bit closer, “nervousness”. But the truth is, it’s fear no matter what they call it. If you are a fearful person you know it deep down in your gut–without me or anyone else having to tell you. But you’ve worked hard to make sure your family, friends and co-workers don’t find out, haven’t you? In fact, one of the things you are most afraid of is that they’ll find out what you’re really like, and then they’ll reject you!

If this blog sounds like it’s written for someone else, you probably are NOT a fearful person, but read on anyway, beause you probably know at least one fearful person who could use some help. I was a fearful person myself for many years. When I was nine, I lost my Dad in an airplane crash, and hearing that news and looking at those pictures of the wreckage strewn over a mile of farmground, plus thinking I was completely alone, produced a fear and loneliness that dogged me for many, many years. It affected my entire life for a long time.

How do you get out of fear, or get through it? I wrote an entire series of blogs on fear, on April 4, 5 and 6. My understanding from the feedback of others is that they helped a great deal. If you have time, and if you think this condition might be causing you some problems, please read on below as I’ve included those blogs below this one.You can copy these. All you have to do is to highlight them, and cut and paste them into a word document.

Those three days describe the reality of fear, and the specific steps a person must take to rid themselves of this mental plague. It’s not psycho-babble or anything like that. It’s simply a proven way of dealing with fear, and replacing it with useful emotions that power you, not rob you.

The beauty of this “program” of conquering fear is that it fits just perfectly into the physical, emotional and spiritual work you’ll be doing during your challenge anyway. So, please, check out the blogs, copy them, and give it a try. All you have to lose is some baggage!

God bless all of you!

The speaker said he could easily sum up the root cause of every one of his life’s failures in just one word,”fear.” I was there when he said it, and I was seated where I could watch about half the audience without turning around. What I saw was most interesting–the vast majority of that audience was nodding in agreement, as though to signal that they they understood and empathized with what he had just said. This speaker was a war hero, by the way!

When I have examined my own life’s failures, and have blown away the dust of denial and excuses, I too usually come up with that one word, FEAR!

I drank alcoholically for 18 years or so. I did it because I was afraid, afraid that people wouldn’t accept me if they really knew what I was like; afraid that I was going to fail at things; afraid that I would be alone and lonely; afraid that I would get sick. you name it, I was afraid of it, and alcohol was my daily cure for that illness!

I entered into a bad relationship years ago because I was afraid of being alone. I stayed in a bad business relationship for years because I was afraid of taking the risk of going out on my own. Fear has also been at the root of most of my other character defects, such as gossip, envy, jealousy, and rage. At the ROOT of each of these failures, there lurked fear, and the character defect is a way of acting like I wasn’t fearful, when in fact I was.

So, why are we discussing fear in a Body for Life blog, you ask? let me ask you a question–what is the number one failure in any body for life activity? Statistically it is quite clear that failure to finish is number one, far above all others put together. And something tells me that fear has an awful lot to do with that!

Oh sure, I’ve heard all the other excuses, and so have you! “I got sick. I hurt myself. My dog died. My parents divorced. My husband doesn’t want me to keep doing this. I’m too busy. It’s not working.” Yet, for most people that I have talked with, who eventually finished a challenge successfully, it actually required conquering a specific fear that they had–and all this other stuff was just window dressing in reality!

Fear is an equal opportunity life-wrecker. It visits us all if we live long enough. And, it seems to me that it really comes calling about the time that we make up our minds that we’re going to do something life-changing. Some people think of fear as being caused by an inner conflict, some part of you that doesn’t want the other part to succeed. Others think of it as a very real and evil spiritual force. Whatever we think of it, the truth is that chronic fear is a corrosive, life-sapping, depressing force that we must rid ourselves of, if we are to live effectively and happily. Those who claim that fear is a great motivator are partially right. Fear can motivate people, whether you have it or inflict it, but the final effect of fear is to destroy people, not help them.

I can tell you this today about fear. Though it once absolutely ruled my life, today it does not. I can also tell you that if I obtained victory over fear, certainly you can as well. I can also promise you that if you gain victory over fear, Body for Life–and every other challenge that comes visiting you–will be conquerable and perhaps even enjoyable.

We’re running out of space today. Tomorrow, I’ll have some specific applications on conquering fear. But,if you want a little heads up on tomorrow, I’ll give you a little hint. Truly conquering fear takes believing in a power greater than yourself! And, to win, you have to surrender!

(Next blog is right below)
Comment on this post

Still More Fear!
by: Michael Harris 8/30/2007

April 5:

Yesterday we examined chronic fear from the perspective of how it affects our everyday lives and how we deal with it. Most of us deal with it by denying we have it, projecting it on others, or medicating ourselves with food or drugs so we don’t have to face it or deal with it.

Well you can continue to deny it, project it, or medicate yourself over it, but in the long haul it will not go away or lose its hold over you. In fact, for most people, chronic fear produces a whole new host of problems eventually–anxiety, ulcerative colitis, headaches, backaches, and so on. While fear might be a real boon for the medical and pharmaceutical industries, for those of us dealing with it, it becomes a life-altering nightmare over time.

So, how do we get rid of it? It starts by admitting we have it. That means saying to ourselves and even others on occasion, “I am afraid…” It means we stop re-labeling it. Frankly, we are NOT “concerned, a bit nervous, or up-tight.” We are FEARFUL! The admission is the key to dealing with it. Once we admit we have a problem we then are freed to deal with it responsibly.

Second, we need to figure out where the heck it came from. For most of us, this means a bit of self-analysis, a bit of journaling perhaps, maybe even a talk with our parents about some things that happened to us as kids. Some prayerful asking of our Creator during a quiet time is helpful. A short personal retreat, away from all distractions, often leads to true “enlightenment” concerning the cause or causes.

Third, and this is where the real work begins, we need to forgive. You’ll find almost certainly that your fear is from something involving another human being, perhaps an authority figure who belittled or took advantage of you, or an abusive relationship. You cannot win the game of life until you get free of the fear, and true freedom starts by doing away with every hidden or possible source of resentment. Forgive the person or persons who wronged you quickly and completely, whether you feel like it or not. Forgiveness involves action not feelings. Write it out, that you forgive so and so on such and such a date for doing this and that. Forgive yourself while you’re at it, for the time you’ve wasted, the things you’ve missed, and the people you’ve hurt along the way. Do that by writing down where you fell short, and just give it to God! Make amends where you need to, and then move forward. This is the eniire process of truly surrendering, and it is only through this surrender that you win!

What’s next? Well, tomorrow we’ll talk about how to replace fear, and with what, and how we avoid sliding back into that slue of despond. It’s not as hard as you think. Like most things, it’s much easier to maintain a clean house than to have to do a complete remodeling job all the time. See you then!

Comment on this post

FEAR–GRADUATION DAY!
by: Michael Harris 8/30/2007

Well, this is payoff day–the day that we finish up with fear. Today is the closing ceremony, where we’ll talk about how to replace fear and maintain a life of freedom from fear.

Once you rid yourself of your fears by doing what we talked about yesterday, you MUST intentionally replace them with something. If you don’t, something will end up replacing it anyway. Nature abhors a vacuum, and an empty human spirit will be filled with something, one way or another. If you don’t take positive action, the fear might be replaced by some addiction or obsession, by lust or greed, or even by more fear. So, the key is to replace it with something good,not bad.

I’m sure you’ve heard that perfect faith drives out fear. It does, and faith in a higher power will certainly provide a foundation for a fear-free life. But mere faith, without more, can sometimes end up more like wishful thinking than spiritual strength. So, let’s make this “active faith.” What is the one thing that most people who possess faith, who believe that they are created, valuable beings have in common? A love for one another,and a desire to help one another. So, my project for replacing fear with active faith is a very simple one–love in action!

Love in action—in the Body for Life world–is also called the universal law of reciprocation. Simply put, you should regularly, at least once a week, do something good for someone who cannot pay you back, and do it without getting caught. Use your imagination–slip money into a jacket pocket, or leave it on someone’s door. Send a gift certificate for a restaurant anonymously. Pay for someone’s way at a function that they can’t afford to go to otherwise. Pray for opportunities to do things for people–they will come along. If you still have some forgiving or amends to make for your past fear-driven behavior, think about how you might right some of those wrongs anonymously. Just don’t get caught, unless a direct apology is in order, of course,

Until you’ve experienced it, you cannot imagine the intense joy that comes from doing something anonymously that truly benefits another. That joy produces something else over time. Hope. Because God truly rewards those who help others for the right reason. It helps you to expectantly look forward to seeing who and what God will bring into your life as your next project, and it helps you to see with confidence that every single need you have is being taken care of–and all without you having to worry about it! In due time, you will look back over all this and not only wonder what ever happen to that old fear-driven you, but also wonder what happened to all the problems that caused those fears!

Does this all sound too extravagant to you? It will take place in your life if you just take the steps of faith to do it.
Staying rid of fear by replacing it is really a life long project. It is very much like staying physically fit. Use it or lose it applies here! Exercise those faith muscles this weekend by attending your favorite house of worship and asking God to help you make sense of all this.

Above all else, don’t ever give up again. Don’t let fear win even one small battle. Face it; admit it; get rid of it, and don’t let it live rent free in your head ever again! Fight for your freedom from fear!

God Bless!