When I was at the Ultimate Transformation Camp sponsored by EAS in 2004, we were each given a mental quality and asked to do a brief video that described what it was and how it was or was not critical to the overall transformation process. Mine was mental strength.

I said that mental strength, or inner strength, is a desirable quality that is made up of a combination of confidence, perseverance, discipline and concentration. With mental strength plus a healthy helping of visualization, a transformation effort will usually succeed; without mental strength, a person will struggle to achieve major goals.

I next addressed how a person develops mental strength, and I analogized it to exactly the way a person builds muscle. As you know, muscular strength and size grow when the muscle is placed under load—stressed. Muscle strength and size grow best when the muscle is heavily stressed for short periods of time, followed by the appropriate nutrition, and a rest period. Mental strength is developed exactly the same way. And, just as muscle actually begins to wane in strength and size if it is regularly overstressed for long periods, not fed properly and not allowed to rest, mental strength is diminished in such circumstances.

The natural enemies of mental strength are an unforgiving attitude—what recovery people usually call a resentment, worry, fear and self-perjury (failing to keep your promises to yourself). These destroy the mental strength because they erode confidence, disrupt concentration, and impede discipline and perseverance. Think about the last time you so anguished over something that happened to you that you couldn’t get it out of your head. Remember how everything else that was going on around you seemed distant and confusing? Remember how hard it was to pray and experience joy? That’s how mental strength is sabotaged.

To build mental strength, we need regular but infrequent stressors to the mind. So, it makes sense to welcome, to even be thankful for the adversities that come into our lives. They are there for a purpose, to prepare us, to make us stronger, and to make us more useful. But, the continuing vestiges of adversity, if we allow them, erode our mental strength through the unforgiving spirit, worry and fear.

How do we stop that from happening? An attitude of gratitude must always lead. As silly as it sounds to welcome bad news, we need to give thanks in it, if for nothing else that the bad news could have been much worse. For me, that always starts with prayer. Prayer is the proper nutrition that we need to grow our mental muscles! First, the serenity prayer because it helps me to sort out what I can do and what I can’t. “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Unless I can accept the things I can’t change, I’m sure to grow frustrated and fearful, and eventually to be bitter and distrustful. Who needs that?

Mental strength also grows in those who learn early to not harbor resentment, and to forgive at the first opportunity. Every once in a while, someone will ask me, “Are you going to let them get away with that?” I always respond, “Yes, I am. I cannot afford the luxury of nursing a resentment, and I also need all the friends I can get.” This response quells any desire to exercise my anger toward another, and also reminds me that few things are worth losing a friend over.

This blog has gone on too long. But it’s important. You have invested way too much planning time, money, sweat and sacrifice into your challenge so far to get half-baked results. And making sure that you finish with a clear head, and a truly transformed and strong mental attitude as well will truly be the best thing you ever did for yourself.

None of this material is original with me. Everything I know that is important is something I learned in recovery from alcoholism. When they toss you into a closed hospital unit for 28 days, that’s “adversity!” But, while you’re there–when you begin to learn how to live life joyously, and free, that’s the beginning of mental strength!