Not into Mythology? Me neither, but as I prepared to write this “how to” about avoiding the unintended consequences of the long holiday season, I thought that a scene from the life of Hercules was the best way to illustrate it. Hercules, as I am sure you all remember from that stuff that Mrs. Schisselbaum made you learn in school that one of the challenges that Hercules had to face was slaying a monster named Hyda that had several heads.  And really, that is what the holiday season can turn into, a multi-headed monster, if you let it.

Here’s what happens. FIrst, in most of our hemisphere, it begins to really look a lot like winter, and in the north where I live that means both waning daylight and cold temps, neither of which does much for most peoples’ outlooks. Getting outdoors, which is nature’s anti-depressant, just doesn’t look like much fun when you are wading in snow and wandering around under the gray skies of winter.  Even in the southern areas of our hemisphere, you’re still dealing with shorter days and tough schedules.

Because of the lack of daylight and the tendency to stay indoors, people get less exercise and they also get less sunlight than they need to help mood elevation. Also, the cold weather really ramps up the appetite. Take all these normal, recurring factors and add to them a virtual pigfest of holiday goodies which takes place in nearly every workplace and home from Thanksgiving through New YEars day and you have all the makings of a disaster.

Here’s what I have learned.

1. I CAN survive in the winter if I have a proactive plan. And I won’t do well if I don’t. 

 2. A proactive plan must include regularly scheduled outdoor time at least every other day for at least a half hour. For me, that can be anything from shoveling snow to walking the dog. In between those two activities I often go for a power walk if it is slippery, and a power jog if it isn’t.  I make this happen, because if I just wait around for a spare half hour to come up, it never happens. I own lots of warm clothes with lots of reflector material on it. I know right where it is, and I can don it in about five minutes. As you can see, I leave myself no excuse for staying indoors. Sure, I come in with my eyes and nose running and my feet freezing, but you know what? I feel great after doing it!

3. I can survive without eating all that junk either at work or at home. The best defense is a good offense, so I NEVER let myself get hungry. I eat the 6 small meals a day, 2.5 hours apart, substituting Myoplex chocolate ready to drinks for two or three whole food meals, and that keeps the sugar cravings at bay. As soon as I let myself get hungry, and there is food around–especially candy and nuts, I’m doomed! So, I go for the Myoplex first!

4. I consciously write down everything I eat during these times–everything. That “pact” with myself keeps me on track and it’s something I think about as I walk by that table in the break room with the sign that says, “help yourself.” I do help myself, by going right on by and saying to myself, there’s nothing there worth writing down!

5. I always try to remember exactly how much exercise it takes to burn off something I didn’t plan for in my daily diet. 

6. I avoid emotional meltdowns at all costs, my own, and those of anyone around me. Believe me, at my job the holidays are far and away the most stressful times, and we are dealing with trial lawyers, who are usually “stress carriers.” If the situation cannot be disarmed and turned into a simple agreement to disagree, I take a “timeout.” That may be something as simple as shutting my mouth, going to the break room and drinking a large glass of water, or it might mean taking a trip to the nearby store to get a cup of coffee. What I’m after here is some quiet time, not some coffee! It works. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve been about to say something regrettable, and just creating a little space saved the day. Sometimes these can be the magic words: “You know, you could be right.”  That’s not capitulation–but it gives hope to both sides in a disagreement.

7. I do “nice things” for myself and others more often during this time of the year. We should all do an anonymous act of kindness once a week, but during the holidays we ought to step that up. After all, it is the giving season, and the beauty of these things is that as a giver we get all the joy–and joy is in short supply during the holidays–ironically!

Well, I could go on, but you get the idea. You CAN do this, but you have to recognize that this is indeed the mother of all “seasons” we face. And if we face it right, we’re not that far off from looking the way we want to on the beach as spring comes. Surrender to it, and the New Year comes with depression, poor health, and just plain self-disgust.

So, Hercules, keep your swords at the ready, and give that Hydra what it deserves. Come January 2, you’ll be glad you did!

In my Thanksgiving eve blog I talked about pushing myself out of my comfort zone to go run in a local 5K race. It worked out fine!

On the way over there (about 10 miles) I worried about everything–was I dressed warm enough? Too warm? Where would I park? Would I know anyone there? What if I can’t finish due to my injury?  Nothing I worried about ever took place! Sound familiar? There is really no doubt that worry is a waste of time, because almost never does what we worry about ever come to pass in a way that our worrying would have made any difference anyway. So, we pay the price for worrying just as though the event did happen to us, all for naught.

What happened instead was that I got to the race area, near downtown, and found that all the parking metered areas were free that day and that there were places within 3 blocks of the start-finish line. Looking at other runners, I saw that either I was dressed appropriately or the other 1209 runners were as dumb as I was! I had no trouble finding everything I needed at race starting area, including a large building that was open so we could go in and warm up and do one or two of those last minute body-function things we usually have to do, especially if we’re under stress.

The race started right on time and I finished in slightly less than 35 minutes. No injury problems, no nothing. I stuck around for the free food and drink that always is there at the end of these events. It was a record crowd for a race taking place on a holiday morn, 1210 finishers. I beat at least 350 of them, though there were a few old ladies I couldn’t ever catch up with!

Today is a resistance training day, and I plan on working core, a daily need almost because of the back problems I’ve been having lately, and upper back muscles as well. I split up workouts these days, into three different types, pull muscles for the upper body, push muscles for the upper body, and then core/lower body workouts.

The weather here is absolutely beautiful and miserable at the same time. It’s snowing and has snowed steadily since mid day yesterday. The snow is slippery and heavy and I’ve had to scoop the driveway three times already. That’s almost a workout by itself.

Some of you are probably getting ready to start a new diet, or a new transformation challenge, or “turn over a new leaf” right after New Year’s day, right? Well, it’s not a bad idea to beat the crowd and get started earlier. If nothing else, it will keep you from picking up that extra 2 to 5 pounds that most people seem to do from Thanksgiving through New Years.

Above all, even if the weather is nasty, get outdoors whenever possible. There is nothing so exhilarating and energizing as getting a bit of exercise outdoors, especially in the day time.

One of the things I have “preached about” over and over on this website is the absolute necessity to conquer fear! Fear is the ugly gift that keeps on giving. If you contemplate something you’re terribly afraid of–let’s use encountering a person you absolutely dread as an example–you will pay the price of  that event actually happening even as you just think about it! Fear raises the levels of destructive hormones, and in the long run it even increases your chances of dying earlier than you should. Especially of a heart attack. So, fear is NOT your friend!

So, how do we conquer fear? Several things. Admitting you have it, rather than relabeling it, helps a great deal. I like to admit my fear in the form of a prayer, so that even as I own up to it I am beginning the steps to getting rid of it.  I often find myself saying out loud: “Lord, You said “fear not” so many times in the Bible that it is the most common commandment you give. Yet, I find myself fearful today of _______(then I name the specific situation or person I fear)____and I ask that you help me to face that fear and that you help me to get rid of it and conquer it forever.” Amen.

Next, taking a specific action regularly is an excellent idea. Yes, at the outset of any strange event you will have a fear or anxiety of approaching it. You may be afraid of embarrassment or of physical harm. The question you have to ask yourself as you face this fear is this: “Am I justified in being afraid or is this irrational or overreacting behavior?” Think about it; pray about it; and then face it! If the fear is justified, then don’t do the thing you are afraid of. There is a thin line between being fearful and foolhardy, and crossing that line is never a good idea. BUT, if as it is in most cases, your fears are more apparent than real, face them by forcing yourself to go do this thing you dread. If necessary, take someone with you. Another good way of forcing yourself to do this thing is to tell others what you are going to do.

The most recent example in my own life of conquering fear is my entry blank to a running race tomorrow. I am fearful of embarrassing myself, because I haven’t run competitively in my entire life, and I’ve done very little actual running since rupturing a disc in my back in 2003. Yet, I think it is time to once again enter this area of activity, and I know that there is no better way to do that than to enter a local 5k race. Tomorrow morning at 9:00 A.M., I’ll be in the middle of the starting pack in downtown Lansing to run that race. To be sure of that, I preregistered for the race and got a timing chip so I would have to show up. If that sounds silly for a 62 year old man, I agree with you! Still, it was what I needed to do to make sure I don’t talk myself out of it tomorrow.

Well, that’s it. Happy Thanksgiving to all of you. Face your fears, and find the joy of victory!

Here’s  what I’ve learned about finishing several challenges over the years, as well as failing to finish  a couple of them. (Those two failures were due to injuries and surgeries, but led to top 1000 finishes during the next challenge.)

1. The strongest finish begins with careful planning, goal setting and preparation. By taking the time to plan thoroughly and set excellent, achievable goals, you have invested time, effort and resources into ytour challenge. This is really no different than booking a nice vacation trip at the end of your challenge as a reward. Whatever you can do to add value to your challenge at the beginning will make it more likely you’ll finish it through the hard times.

2. Consistency is critical to success. IF your life is chaotic and you don’t know from one day to the next what you will eat, where you will eat, and and when and how long you’ll work out, and who you will be interacting with, that kind of bvehavior will accumulate stress rather than confidence. It will impede performance. Unless you can master your own schedule, it will master you! You only acquire consistency by two means–discipline and acting your way into better thinking instead of trying to think your way to better actions.

3. Adversity is the pruning shears that will make a better, stronger man or woman out of you. Pruning producces strong, healthy and beautiful plants and trees. And, guess what, it does the same thing for people! So, when that dreaded person, place or thing comes along to knock you out of the catbird seat, just look it in the eye and say, “bring it on!” You don’t have to welcome it or enjoyit or even laugh about adversity, but you DO HAVE TO GO THROUGH IT, or it will go through you! While it’s going on, make good notes, because the judges love the stories of adversities turned into triumph during a transformation.

4. It is the most difficult when you are very close to a victorious finish. Human nature is that the nearer we get to a victory, the more we want to quit! Instead of quitting, put up your countdown calendar, a board with the remaining days you have to go, and check them off, one by one. Seeing how close you are to the end keeps you in the game.

5. Stay in touch! Get close to people on the guestbook or in the other communities.

6. FInish with a fourish! Take professioanl photos.; get tanning either naturally or artificial–it really reveals results best; be creative, you want those photos to be great! Then, buy yourself some new clothes. After all, there’s a new YOU that needs them!

I was listening to a sermon on Saturday night, and when it came to the part about being real and authentic, I heard something that really stood out. It was this: “Behavioral scientists from all cultures agree that the one universal trait among all cultures is that NOBODY LIKES A LIAR!” I believe that to be true. I also believe that lying to ourselves is at the core of most challenge failures. Let me explain before your blood pressure goes up here!

When I was in recovery from alcoholism I learned the difference between self-honesty and cash register honesty. I learned that anyone can be outwardly honest and not lie to or steal from others, but that part of the reason that people become addicts is that the drug or alcohol or food is selected for its pain killing properties, and that the pain comes from lying to ourselves–failing to practice self honesty. In my case, most of my resentments were aimed at “them.” I had a whole list of folks who had wronged me, or frustrated me, or who didn’t like me, and on and on it went. And every failure I had–real or imagined–I blamed on “them.” Even my drinking! “If you’d been treated like I had, you’d drink too” I often said.

However, the plain truth was that I was the cause of all my failures, not “them.” I was the one who made bad choices, who nursed grudges, and who took the easy way out every time. Once I was faced with the truth that I’d never be able to stay sober unless I dealt with my own lying to myself, my life completely changed directions. Though it was initially painful to be responsible, since there was no one else to blame but me, ultimately I became much better at doing life and at not allowing other things or people to get in the way of a goal.

Sadly, I see from the guestbook and elsewhere that many are afflicted with my self-deceit problem, and that since “nobody likes a liar” they actually don’t like themselves, though they are not really able to realize that. Instead, they blame their spouse, their co-workers, their parents or their children for their own failure to stick with the program. I don’t know how many times I’ve seen that the evil spouse was at fault for bring home a pizza, even though exactly why the challenger felt they had to eat it is never really explained! Others take one relatively harmless remark, such as “how long are you going to stick with this latest diet?” and they allow it to be like an arrow into their heart. Soon enough, they give in to temptation, and blame it all on the spouse. It’s just too much to take the responsbility for their own failings. Problem is, unless they do, they’ll never get this right, because spouses, children, co-workers and others–they just don’t get the memo that says “don’t ask stupid questions or bring home unauthorized food!”

How do you get self-honesty? Making a searching and fearless inventory of yourself, of your weaknesses, and of the times you’ve lied to yourself. Then,, tell it all to someone who won’t be harmed by it, a trusted friend, or an anonymous clergyman for example. Above all, you must accept the entirety of your role in all these failures, and not simply acknowledge “my part” in it. Once you’ve cleaned up the past, it’s much easier to go into the future with a clean slate. Next, pray for the people who do this to you. Not praying that they quit doing it, but praying for them to get the desires of their hearts, whatever that may be. Next, be intentionally and relentlessly nice to them. Spend time with them if it’s friends or family. Do things to help them, if it’s co-workers or others. Never return bad for bad, but always give them your very best.

Is this easy? Not at all. It’s simple, but progress will be slow at first and rapid after a few weeks. You will find that you no longer bristle every time someone says, “Oh, ANOTHER ONE of those shakes? When do you get to eat normal?” Honest, this is all possible, once you stop lying to yourself by blaming others for your own shortcomings!

Well, not really spanning the globe, but more like spanning the central U.S. Right now I’m in the Lansing Michigan regional airport, one of the few places where web access is truly free, and heading to McPherson Kansas to see my mother. Mom is 86 and lives alone there, so it’s always good to go check up on her, and to become a Kansan again for a few short days.

It’s great to be back in Kansas where the weather can be brutal, but the people are the best in the world. There’s no hurry there. No one tailgates you on the freeways, and people wave at you even if they don’t know you. They are always willing to help, and it’s just kind of like life the way it’s supposed to be.

How do I maintain exercise and diet while I travel like this? Well, I used to take it all with me. But the days of charging for extra bags, banning liquids in flight, and all that, make that less than ideal. So, what I do these days is to hit a Wal Mart as soon as I get in town, buy the RTDs I’ll need for my meals between “earth food meals” and that’s about it. If I’m in a muscle building phase, which I’m not at the moment, I take my creatine-based supplements in baggies and bring a shake cup with me. That shake cup is the Blender Bottle, which you can buy at better health food stores, GNC, and a few other places. Accept no substitutes. THe blender bottle is great! It has a stainless wisk in it; it does NOT leak or ooze. It’s almost indestructible. There are look a likes that are not that good, so be sure you get the real deal. It’s almost $10 but believe me you’ll go through five of the junk shake cups long before anything will happen to your blender bottle.

As for workouts, that’s no prob. I belong to the Y and that means you can work out free or very cheap at any YMCA in the world! My mom swims every day at her local Y so it just works out great.

I’m doing more running right now than weight training. I’m going to try to train up to a marathon, but we’ll see how it goes. A leg damaged due to nerve problems following a back surgery has created some weaknesses and structural issues in my left foot and ankle, so I’m going to get an evaluation to se if it is possible to use braces or orthotics to reach that goal. If not, then I’ll be on a bike or an elliptical again I guess.

Why a marathon? I don’t really know, except that it is a lofty goal for a 62 year old guy who really has never been a runner–and I’m big on “lofty goals!”

Leave some comments if you have time! God bless!  If you’re a runner and have never participated in running podcasts, here’s a website you should really check out!  www.steverunner.com   

This is a really big day for me! I couldn’t be happier than I am right now, even though my political favorites took a serious beating yesterday; my job is completely insecure at this point and I won’t know whether I ‘ll get to continue past January, and our retirement funds have taken such a thorough beating that retirement is not an option at the moment. So, why am I so happy?

Because twenty five years ago today, a Saturday in November 1983, I was able to make it through an entire day without taking a drink of alcohol or using any other mind-altering chemicals!  That first sober day, my recovery birthday, was spent in a treatment center in Wichita Kansas. That’s probably the only reason I didn’t drink that day– I was locked behind doors of the treatment facility, in a hospital, and that’s where I stayed for 28 days.

I must tell you that I was anything BUT happy the first day I walked into that place. I was unable to see that it would help me. I was an angry, self-pitying, sarcastic and unhappy guy, and I just knew it was everyone’s fault but mine! As I walked down the hallway to my room, with a nurse escorting me, I remember distinctly thinking, “This is it–my life is over.”  How crazy it seems to me now that I was unable to see that this would be my salvation, and that an entirely new life was possible beyond the curtain of alcohol that I had been living behind.

I want all of you to one day be able to say the same thing about your battles with food. See, I know for most of us that Body for Life is about much more than just battling a few pounds of fat and putting on some muscle. For most of us, it is a desperate attempt to reclaim our lives and the joy we once had. That joy, for many of us, is long gone and sometimes seems like it’s never coming back. If we are honest, we would admit that we use food just like I used to use alcohol, to get us through pity parties, to help us avoid feeling those uncomfortable emotions–things like fear, anger, resentment, jealousy, envy. The list goes on.

And Body for Life is not really the vehicle to reclaim your life, but it is certainly the place to start. If you are faithful in your exercise, your eating, and your journaling, you’ll find a new life for yourself. That is, you’ll find it IF you make a conscious effort to change your entire outlook and attitude. That takes cleaning out your closets and really looking carefully at the relationships you’re in, the habits that have overtaken you, the attitudes you have copped, and the denial that has swamped your life. If you’ll do that, and then go ask for forgiveness from those you have harmed, and sever any toxic relationships as well, you’ll find a new life for you.

Best news of all is that it is simple, not easy, to make this change. Your faith will see you through, if you have faith. If you don’t, then just do the next best thing and act like a person who has faith. In recovery, they call that “faking it until you make it.”

One last thing. Be good to yourself during this transition time. Your attitude will improve if you treat yourself better, and talk nicer to yourself.  God bless! 

The title here is one of my three favorite bumper stickers. The others, for the record, are, “Keep honking–I’m Reloading!” and “In spite of the high cost of living, it remains popular!”

The voices in my head bumper sticker is special to me because there really is great truth in it. We all have voices in our heads, all the time, directing us this way and that, controlling our moods, our behavior, our opinion of ourself, the depth of our commitments, and even the effort we put into tasks at hand. In recovery groups, folks who have trouble keeping their thinking straight often refer to the “committee meeting going on in my head.” We are of course actually talking about strong thoughts, not real audible voices.

The key to being successful is to make sure the voice in your head is giving you a positive message. Let me give you an example. This afternoon I was doing an exercise on a revolving stair machine called a Stepmill. Don’t confuse the Stepmill with a stairmaster or an elliptical. A stepmill is as close to climbing real flights of stairs as you can get, and if you have the level cranked up at all, the exercise can get really brutal. I was going for 20 minutes, but aabout 8 minutes in, the voice in my head starts saying, “your back is killing you, why don’t you just get in 10 minutes and call it a day?” At ten minutes, it was saying, “you don’t really have time to do 20 minutes–you’re going to be late for dinner again!” Who was that voice exactly? It was my whiny, tired little self who had put in a really long day today, and who really was having back problems that didn’t make the exercise pleasant.

At 12 minutes, I had just about had it with this pathetic voice, so I reached back into my memory and stole a phrase from Porter Freeman and modified it slightly. I said to myself, out loud I think, “look, this is going down whether you like it or not, and I’m not quitting. They may have to carry me out of here, up those twenty steps, but I’m not quitting, so just SHUT UP!” I know how dumb that sounds, I really do, but guess what? The stupid whiny voice gave up, and by minute 15 the only voice in my head was saying, “keep it up, baby, you’re almost there!”

How do you control the voices in your head? Start by thinking positive thoughts BEFORE you go to an exercise session or into a particularly stressful day. My thoughts on a given day are focused in the morning by praying for the special needs of several people, by just thanking God for every gift, even those I really don’t want, and by asking for the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. I also try to read and memorize positive things. One of those that made the difference for me today was Porter Freeman’s statement that he was either going to “do this or else they’ll find me dead in there” (referring to the health club where he worked out at 3:30 in the morning!)

Your negative voices hate success, so that’s another great way to shut them up–just by proving them wrong. Do the next right thing in front of you, no matter what that whiny voice is saying, and soon enough, it will die of neglect! God bless!

Just Say No!
by: Michael Harris,  first published  3/26/2007
 
Every single day of your Body for Life challenge, you will be presented with opportunities to change your plans. Seriously, every day you will receive invitations to dine, attend events, to stay after school, to haul someone somewhere, to sleep in, and any number of other things that have the power to change your routine for that day. How you respond to those invitations will dictate the course and the outcome of your challenge results. Your response will have to depend on two things:
1. How serious you are about getting serious challenge results;

2.And how serious the situation that arises is.

Let’s say that a “TEN” situation arises, an emergency jeopardizing the health or life of one of your children or another family member. Really, there IS no choice–you do the right thing and go, because you know that NOTHING is more important than that person and situation having your undivided attention.

Let’s say a “ONE” situation arises. Someone you couldn’t care less about asks you to go have a Latte and donut with them. That’s easy, too. You and your challenge deserve better than a flimsy event like that. You just kindly but firmly say “No thanks” and leave it at that.

The toughies are the “tweeners.” And the challenge is to stay faithful to your challenge without rupturing a relationship or inflicting pain on yourself or others. The gang is going out for a beer on Friday to wish someone well on their last day of work; or your boss asks you to stay an extra half hour to finish his report; and your workout was scheduled for that time. Can you respond to those requests and still get your workout in that day? If so, sure, go ahead with the “interruption.” If not, be ready to say, “I just can’t–I’m sorry.” And leave it at that.

I can almost hear you saying, “he doesn’t understand,” but I do. I do UNDERSTAND that you never want to tell anyone “No” and that this is a never ending invitation for others to take advantage of you. “No” is a complete sentence, and a complete response. You really must be able to sort out the toughies if you have any hope of succeeding without driving yourself crazy. What will happen if you don’t is that you’ll continually give in to situations that you shouldn’t and you’ll be so disgusted with yourself that when you finally say “No” to someone it will be so forceful that they’ll fear for their life! And if your firmness costs you a job or friendship, what the heck kind of a job or friendship did you really have anyway?

Look, if you need some help with courage here, just tell them that “I promised my Uncle Mike I’d do something for him tonight and he will really be disappointed with me if I don’t go through with it.”

Courage is like most other character traits. The more you use it, the easier it gets!

THE FOOD: Many people wonder if the diet is “really all that important” and regard exercise as the key to the whole transformation bit. But, that’s not true.  Adhering to the diet, and eating small and very healthy meals is the KEY.

Why? First of all, for most people, food has been used as a drug for a long time. They have literally been drugging their feelings with meal after meal of rich carbohydrates or fatty and sugary treats. So, good food not only helps the body to shed fat and build muscle at the same time (so long as you’re working out correctly) but it also helps restore your mind and emotions to a sane and steady state. People who have overeaten for a long time have literally been unable to  feel normal feelings and to deal with their problems, so they remain in an immature emotional state–just like drug addicts and alcoholics do. Normal blood sugar levels and insulin levels will allow you to literally begin to heal not only the flesh but the emotions and spirit as well.

SELF-IMPROVEMENT: The key to self-improvement in BFL is to improve yourself without growing selfish. You can go one of two ways once you begin to see BFL results. You can move to self-glorification or you can move to selfless helping of others. Choose selfless helping rather than self-glorification, because just as excess eating stunts the emotions, self-glorification stunts spiritual growth. Selfless helping promotes spiritual growth–literally demonstrating the truth of the age old proverb that it “is better to give than receive.”

While I’m on the topic of selfless helping, please don’t confuse giving false encouragement to people who are playing the victim role with truely helping others. People intent on playing victim don’t really want advice–they are trapped in their own pity party and and any help that would remove them from that situation will be quietly rejected by them. You are much better off spending your time with others who truly want to change.

BFL IS LIKE A VIRUS!: It spreads most easily by direct contact with others.

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This is a two part blog today. Please read Jamie’s story below, and then continue on to read my comments pertaining to the entire issue of doing BFL with an eating disorder.

Jamie was athletic as a teen, married at 19, and gained the customary 10 pounds. Marriage took her from her country home with her parents to the big city, where the fast pace, conflicts with family, an employer, and financial burdens led to an emotional breakdown that required hospitalization and heavy medications. The medications packed on another 10 pounds almost instantly and created an entirely new bunch of physical problems. Her emotional situation continued downhill as finances forced her and husband to move back to their old home town where a doctor took her off the strong medications. She developed Crohn’s disease and the medication from that plus having two children caused another significant weight gain she couldn’t shake. Various attempts to manipulate her food intake and to understand her inner problem went nowhere.  Eating became the major focus in her life.

One day, watching an Oprah Winfrey episode on why people stay fat, she decided maybe her reason for staying fat was the same as one of the people on the show, so that men would not hit on her. But deep down she knew that wasn’t the real issue, and she resolved to “go deeper” to figure this thing out.

While staying with her mother while her own house was being remodeled, Jamie finally figured it out–her mother had been overweight for much of her life, and Jamie was staying overweight so that her mother would have someone who she could identify with, someone who would understand her, and someone who would not leave her behind, as others had. As Jamie puts it: “If I lost weight, she wouldn’t be able to feel like she could talk to me anymore. I know it’s the reason, because I cry every single time I think about it — emotion fills me up and I feel guilty.”

Jamie realized the insanity of this reasoning and decided that for her sake and her mother’s as well, she had to lose the weight and break this crazy cycle, not leaving it to her daughter to break.

Jamie is doing much better these days and is managing an ongoing body for life challenge. These are Jamie’s closing thoughts: “Reasons to not finish will always come up whether they are realistic ones or not. I will always have a problem with this, but as long as I ask why… find the reason and work it around to be seen in a different light, then it will fade away. Many times, the desire to stay with my mom has overwhelmed me, but because I’ve already discovered the logic and truth of it — I can turn my thoughts to the solution I discovered and eliminate that moment of weakness.
There are times when life throws challenges at me and I think I’m just going to go crazy. In those times I remind myself, “Just get over it… you’ve already been there. It didn’t help, it just made things worse. There’s a better way to manage.” This is the best program out there. 1) I’m eating healthy, 2) There’s a free day, 3) Exercise is incorporated in it to make us stronger and help burn fat more efficiently. I have looked up many studies on why this type of program works specifically in burning fat and getting the body shaped. I believe in it. I know it will help me reach my goals — as long as I take care of the mental stuff along the way.”

Part 2:

Having read Jamie’s story, you will probably have one of two reactions. Either, “well, that was interesting, but I sure can’t identify with it,” or, “Oh my gosh, that kind of sounds like my crazy life!” Jamie’s story is an example of a person with an eating disorder, though not typical in all respects. For example, she overate regularly, but she did not do the bingeing and purging typical of a bulemic type of eating disorder. And, though she struggled with understanding why she continued to stay fat and get fatter, she did not engage in some desperate activities such as endless cardio, or extreme dieting.

But, like most people with eating disorders, Jamie had something in her past that was really driving the disease, and was unable to put a finger on it. She thought of various reasons and tried various methods of getting the fat off. She also struggled with up and down emotions, but nothing really became clear until she encountered her “problem” up close and personal. Now, with reality staring her in the face, she is able to cope with those irrational thoughts about her mother, and to successfully manage the rigors of a body for life challenge. Once she became aware of the “insanity” of her eating disorder, she began the first steps toward conquering it. (When I use the word insanity here, I’m not talking about psychosis, or being out of your mind, but of an irrational thought process that causes even more irrational behavior.)

So, if you or someone you know are one of the hundreds of people who are attracted to BFL each year because of the structure, hoping that the structure will allow you to get a handle on the eating disorder, you need to understand that it won’t work, not until you come face to face with the real reason that you overeat. You need to uncover what is really eating you. In some cases it is abusive behavior you endured, or lack of emotional attachment to one or both parents. Sometimes, it can be just plain feeling unloved. That sense often triggers thoughts that you can be loved if you obtain approval from certain others, or if you achieve certain goals. Ultimately, these attitudes all lead to fear, which leads to withdrawal (hiding) which leads to depression, which leads to uncontrolled eating. And the cycle starts all over again.

Want to break that cycle? Tune in tomorrow, and I’ll give you some ideas how. 

Here’s “tomorrow” on eating disorders!

“So, if you have an eating disorder or you are close to someone who does. What do you do now?

First of all, if you are a friend or family member, understand that you cannot change someone else’s behavior. You can provide some consequences and insight for the person if you don’t intend to continue the relationship as it currently is. Your best bet is to find a support group. There, you can learn to live a sane and stable life no matter what the other person does. That was the express purpose of the formation of Alanon family groups, and there are similar support groups for families with eating disorder tendencies. They can be located by getting in touch with your local Overeaters Anonymous chapter or by using the internet and searching for “support groups for eating disorder family”.

And if you are the one with the disease, you too need a support group. Contact Alanon or local eating disorder clinics for information. You also need to do what Jamie did, begin a search for what is really eating you. It takes time and hard work. This is not a “light bulb” type of moment usually. The mind has done a lot of hard work to bury the difficult stuff where you don’t encounter it every day, but until you get to it, understand it, and take certain steps to get rid of it, the bulemia or other unhealthy activity will continue as you deal with pain of your past.

There are several excellent workbooks or guides on understanding your eating disorder and its source. They are helpful if you work them! Search on the internet under “workbook for bulimics” and you will find summaries and purchase information on several excellent works. Most of these, if done with some prayerful thought and dead seriousness, will get you to the point where you can identify your disease contributors and take some steps to get free of the disease. If that does not work, then professional treatment may well be necessary.

Can you continue your challenge without danger while you try to work this out? I don’t see why not. The primary purpose of this series of blogs is to let you know that a challenge is not the cure for an eating disorder, but certainly attempting in a healthy way to transform the body is not inconsistent with getting well. I STRONGLY suggest, though, that your challenge adhere STRICTLY to the guidelines in the original book, so far as the types and times of exercise–including cardio. In other words, you are endangering your recovery by doing too much cardio if you have an eating problem. As far as free day, I know of several people who have reached peace with it by committing to one unstructured meal during the weekend. You know what your trigger foods are, so try to avoid them if at all possible.

You will die of an eating disorder only if you quit trying to defeat it. Yes, it’s terribly hard work but it is certainly better than the alternative. I love every day of my life now, but when I was in my own addiction–alcoholism–I hated life, and I hated myself. God bless you, and thanks for reading all this. ”

Oh, one long last thing! Here’s what Jamie had to say about the things I wrote: “Mike,
You have done a wonderful job expressing how big of a problem this is. It has been one of the hardest struggles of my life and I always have to watch what I am doing - because several times I have caught myself replacing one addiction with another and it blindsides me because I am thrilled I got over the first one. As long as I am aware of this, I have the upper hand. Everything you said is dead on. This is a bigger problem than a lot of people think. Yes, obesity is one of the top killers in our country, but many need to realize, it’s not a problem because there are bad food choices out there - it’s a problem (for some of us) because it is a “fix” to cover up something deeper. ”

I urge you to pay close attention to what she said, especially the part about exchanging one addiction for another. In recovery, we called that kind of behavior “changing deck chairs on the Titanic!”  The key is self-honesty, and the reward is self-assurance and peace!

 

 

“When Will You Get Back to Normal Again?”

Has your husband or wife or other family member asked you that already? If not, you are a blessed person, because most of us will get that question many times before we’re done with our challenge.See, those closest to you, even those who have been openly critical of how you have let yourself go, often feel threatened by your new Body for Life lifestyle. They don’t feel comfortable watching you spend so much time trying to get yourself back in shape. Why? Well, that topic is too complicated for a short blog, but I will simply let that go with this observation: Those who see another change often feel threatened because they either feel neglected, or they feel guilty about their own shortcomings in their health or SOME OTHER SIGNIFICANT DISCIPLINE in their life. It is far easier for them to criticize and try to sabotage your activity than it is to admit their own problems and to have to deal with them.

Assume with me for a minute that you believe what I wrote above to be true. Would it help to argue with your family member, or to be critical of where they might have fallen short? Not a bit. It will only escalate things into phrases such as, “WELL, YOU always……”

You know how these fights go–you’ve had them hundreds of times with this same person–only just over different things.

Here’s your solution. Simply lavish unconditional love on that person. Invite him to go with you on the BFL journey, but don’t wait around for him. AND DON’T remind them of their shortcomings in retaliation for how they hurt you. Believe me, if this is a guy, he doesn’t even really know how that stupid remark hurt you. And letting him have it will only make things worse. You will win them over by accepting and loving them exactly the way they are, no matter what they have said or done to you. Revenge has no place in a Body for Life lifestyle.

Back to that question for a minute. “When will you be normal again?” Actually, you are normal right this minute, and if you do it right, Body for LIFE will be your life. This represents the NEW you. It’s not just a diet that gets you to where you can start getting fat and out of shape again. It truly is a new lifestyle that will free you from many things–including lapsing back into old habits, and the need to get even with others.

So, how do you resist the need to get even? Pray for that person every single day, twice a day, to have the same blessings you want for yourself. And, before you open your mouth in spite, silently say the serenity prayer to yourself–something like “give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Silence will quickly appear to be the best option. And it gets easier every time you have to wrestle with it. Over time, when you no longer take the bait, your family member will stop casting it in your direction. Heck, he might even come work out with you one of these days!

Sowing and Reaping!

This is one of my favorite topics—talking about the absolute truth that you will reap what you sow. In its simplest form, if you plant wheat seed, you will harvest wheat.  If you plant carrot seeds, carrots will come up. That’s just how it works in the real world, and it also works that way in the spiritual world! For example, if you “sow” joy, you will get it back.  If you sow distrust and suspiciousness, you will get that back, too. If you sow enthusiasm, you will get enthusiasm back.   By “sow” I mean, of course, that you deal with others in those attitudes.   And all you have to do to sow joy, or enthusiasm or any other human attitude is to act that way. Not only will your acting that way enthuse or bring joy to others, but it will bring enthusiasm and joy to you, even if you didn’t feel like it originally. The great Dale Carnegie used to always say: “Act enthusiastic, and you’ll be enthusiastic!” It’s true.  He had another great saying that I love, and I hope it will encourage you to become more others-centered and less self-centered, to work the universal law of reciprocation instead of worrying about what you’re going to get yourself.  This is what he said: “You can make more friends in two months by becoming more interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you””   One last Dale Carnegie quote and then I’ll wrap this up. “Happiness doesn’t depend on external conditions. It’s governed by our mental attitude.” Friends, I learned all this stuff in 12 step recovery. It changed my life. I had to pay a huge price to get into recovery. I lost my self-respect, my wealth, and my health. Still, it was worth everything I learned. I offer you all this with my hope that you’ll take these things into your hearts, and that you won’t have to learn them like I did. Now, go get that workout in, and then go find somebody you can help without getting caught!

    “It’s not your fault!” screams the ad. It’s the one that urges you to get rid of your income tax liability if you owe more than $10,000, or to get all your credit card debts reduced, again assuming you have at least a certain amount of debt.  Of course, reality is that these agencies work on contingent fees and your case is not worth their time unless you’re in the ditch to the tune of at least ten grand or so.  Mortgage refinancers also tell you it’s not your fault that you’re in over your head because some greedy lender signed you up on a contract that requires you to pay them back with interest.  Well, I’m here to tell you that unless you admit you’re at fault, you have no hope of ever becoming a mature and responsible citizen again. On the guestbook, and everywhere for that matter, the BFL version of “it’s not your fault” is the confession that “I’m an emotional eater.” Well, earth-to-you-buddy, everyone on the planet is an “emotional eater!”  That’s why virtually every big moment is celebrated with some kind of a feast. There are wedding feasts, graduation receptions, funeral lunches, Christmas dinners, Thanksgiving celebrations, you name it! We are hard-wired to do some serious eating around various occasions of either joy or sadness. Breaking bread is part of that passage of life, whatever it is. Most self-styled “emotional eaters” actually mean that they are somehow made anxious by their family or friends or circumstances, and that they have to eat as a result–even to overeat. This is somehow seen as less of a sin than just admitting that we lack self-control. But, like our friends who ran up the huge debts, unless we get brutally honest with ourselves, we’ll never get free of  the grip of overeating. Every twelve step recovery group, including overeaters anonymous, begins with the self-admission/revelation that “we admitted we were powerless over _____ that our lives had become unmanageable.” And then, “We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.” These two powerful statements assume ownership of the problem, and set out the first part of a plan to take control of our lives again. When I was drinking alcoholically, I drank with resentment. I brooded and was angry. I was a self-pitying, sarcastic slob who drank because I was so full of fear I couldn’t face real life. Until I admitted what a coward I was, and that my unmanageable life was due to my own fear, anger and self-pity, I was unable to even see that I was my own worse problem.    When I made that admission of my powerlessness, and began to probe beneath the surfaces of my own denial, and to confess all those problems, I began to change into a happier person, a more confident person, and a person who no longer needed alcohol. Am I suggesting that “emotional eaters” are basket cases like alcoholics?  Not really. I doubt any of you are morally bankrupt like most alcoholics, but I’ll bet you’re not as happy as you’d like to be either. Nor are you truly free and joyous.   Tell yourself the truth. Tell others the truth. Once you do that, and once you admit that you overeat because you want to, then you’re on your way to getting hold of that problem.  And if you don’t tell the truth to yourself, then it truly IS YOUR FAULT!

“When Will You Get Back to Normal Again?”
by: Michael Harris  1/31/2008
 

Has your husband or wife or other family member asked you that already? If not, you are a blessed person, because most of us will get that question many times before we’re done with our challenge.

See, those closest to you, even those who have been openly critical of how you have let yourself go, often feel threatened by your new Body for Life lifestyle. They don’t feel comfortable watching you spend so much time trying to get yourself back in shape. Why? Well, that topic is too complicated for a short blog, but I will simply let that go with this observation: Those who see another change often feel threatened because they either feel neglected, or they feel guilty about their own shortcomings in their health or SOME OTHER SIGNIFICANT DISCIPLINE in their life. It is far easier for them to criticize and try to sabotage your activity than it is to admit their own problems and to have to deal with them.

Assume with me for a minute that you believe what I wrote above to be true. Would it help to argue with your family member, or to be critical of where they might have fallen short? Not a bit. It will only escalate things into phrases such as, “WELL, YOU always……”

You know how these fights go–you’ve had them hundreds of times with this same person–only just over different things.

Here’s your solution. Simply lavish unconditional love on that person. Invite him to go with you on the BFL journey, but don’t wait around for him. AND DON’T remind them of their shortcomings in retaliation for how they hurt you. Believe me, if this is a guy, he doesn’t even really know how that stupid remark hurt you. And letting him have it will only make things worse. You will win them over by accepting and loving them exactly the way they are, no matter what they have said or done to you. Revenge has no place in a Body for Life lifestyle.

Back to that question for a minute. “When will you be normal again?” Actually, you are normal right this minute, and if you do it right, Body for LIFE will be your life. This represents the NEW you. It’s not just a diet that gets you to where you can start getting fat and out of shape again. It truly is a new lifestyle that will free you from many things–including lapsing back into old habits, and the need to get even with others.

So, how do you resist the need to get even? Pray for that person every single day, twice a day, to have the same blessings you want for yourself. And, before you open your mouth in spite, silently say the serenity prayer to yourself–something like “give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Silence will quickly appear to be the best option. And it gets easier every time you have to wrestle with it. Over time, when you no longer take the bait, your family member will stop casting it in your direction. Heck, he might even come work out with you one of these days!

God bless!

This blog was first published in September 2007.

Have you seen them? Those messages on the guestbook or over on the Tracker where someone comes on and says something like, “I did this challenge back in 2000 and lost 18 pounds and looked great. Then, life got in the way, and I am actually at my heaviest and fattest and unhappiest ever. I’m hoping this still works as well as it did last time.” What happened? How could they have put that much work into twelve weeks, seen that much success, and then somehow just let it all leak away?

Well, I’ve had some experience in that regard myself, and in my case it was always an injury that kept me from working out for several months, or in te last case, an injury plus sadness and depression from losing a dear friend unexpectedly during a lung transplant surgery. I think for most people, though, it’s an entirely different reason–failing to hear the two most important words in the book. “FOR LIFE.”

Those are the words in the book–they’re even in the title–that many of us read but just don’t hear. In a society that values appearance and freedom over continuity and lasting relationships, the words “for life” just seem to zing right over our heads. This is true even though Bill Phillips takes great pains to point out to us that he still does exactly what has worked for him for so many years. That is, he does the 20 minute aerobic solution in the early morning three days a week, lifts weights in an intense manner three times a week, and eats six times a day. What happened to the people who did the post I mentioned at the beginning, and to lots more of us, is that even though they were great at making changes over the short term, they never really saw this as something that they’d need to do for life.

Anyone can learn to exercise and do it regularly. You see those people at the clubs every day–doing exactly the same routines and in the same ways every single day. And they’re not changing a bit, are they? No, not for the better or worse–they’re just staying in place. What makes the changes is what they don’t do, and we need to keep doing–eating the six small meals a day. For me, and for everyone, that’s the hardest part.

We are literally pushing back against a lifetime of three squares a day tradition, and it takes months to develop that habit. I told a reporter who interviewed me for BFL that it took six months to really develop that habit of eating six small meals a day. Really, it was probably closer to a year, but I didn’t want to scare people off!

Take my word for this. Once you develop that habit, you’ll adhere to it as well as every other one you’ve truly developed, but it really does take months, an it really is the key to this whole program.

Six small meals a day. That’s the key to your success!

“Adversity has struck!” That is often the cry from a relatively short-time transforming challenger when something comes up that causes a setback in his or her efforts to do the best challenge they can. Following that, there is usually a cascade of endless advice from others about how to best deal with the bad hand the person has been dealt.

All this assumes that adversity is bad, is unwanted, unwelcomed and unprofitable.  But the truth is, adversity can actually end up being one of the best things that ever happened to the challenger.

Adversity comes along for several reasons. Sometimes, it is from poor planning or no planning. When I forget my food at home, that is adversity to me, though to others it might be an invitation to go somewhere and eat out. Most adversity that comes from lousy planning or forgetfulness is really not for any creative purpose. The best that can usually be made of it is an example, that example being one that hopefully does not repeat itself. 

Adversity that comes about through no fault of the trainee but due to the efforts of one of his family members is best used as a welcome lesson to the trainee. What is the lesson? The lesson of course is that you can control only yourself. You cannot control the behavior of others, though you can certainly influence it. And, people respond to positive influence better than they do negative influence. In fact, your problem with a family member proves that. Had they exerted positive rather than negative influence on you in the way of their behavior we wouldn’t even be talking about this.

Here’s what you do when it’s not your fault. You simply forgive. If you believe in the power of prayer, it is certainly the best step to ask your Creator to help place a forgiving spirit in you. The rest is all action steps on your part. You must actively forgive this person by acting that way. Simply make any amends that might be needed because of your overreaction to their behavior, apologize for it as well, and then take the action steps to forgive them by simply treating them as though they had done absolutely nothing to you. Do something especially nice for them that they absolutely don’t deserve, and treat them like royalty. And, understand that this is for YOU, not them!
 
Adversity, when treated properly, can be one of the best experiences of a challenge. Not one of the most welcome experiences, but one of those things that helped to hone and harden you into the fitness athlete you’ve always wanted to be, with a disciplined mind and a loving spirit.

In the Bible, the word “remember” occurs 166 times. In the book of Deuteronomy alone, where God is telling the Israelites to remember what He did for them, and how to do that,, the word occurs 16   times. History clearly records both in the Bible and elsewhere what happened to the Israleites when they forgot what God had done, and started living by their own rules instead–and it wasn’t good!

The guestbook over on the Body for Life website also is a great example of what happens to people who fail to remember. They often come back after months of absence, to record that “life got in the way” and that they quit working out and eating right and–well, you know exactly what follows the “and.” They are in worse shape than ever!

Remembering is critical  if you hope to not only achieve a successful challenge but also to keep the results. So, how do you do that? Well, one of the critical ingredients to building a memory is keeping a written contemporaneous record of your achievements. In this game, we call that a workout journal. A carefully documented journal with all your exercises, meals and life experiences in it is very valuable for review purposes, and will also help you to create and realize such a significant investment in your transformation that just for that reason alone you will be less likely to let it go away.

Another great way of remembering and adding value to your transformation is to get what I call “institutional memory” by making friends and associates by participating in forums like the Transformation website, the Body for Life guestbook, or the Tracker. Even better–meet up with these people in person at a safe place and get acquainted with them. You will be amazed how quickly the common interest in transformations will have you making lifelong friends of many of these people. And not only are they lifelong friends, but they will be a quick resource when you get weak, or a crisis arrives or “life gets in the way.” They will know you, and they will love you enough to try to help you through the tough times.

As a safe place to meet, I can think of none better than the upcoming Tennessee Body for Life Champions weekend in Knoxville Tennessee. It starts on October 10 and ends on the 12th. The entire fee for the event, which includes a banquet, a keynote address by Bill Phillips, and many activities and a nice goody bag, is a very affordable $65. You can go to their website for registration details. https://www.tnchampweekend.com/

Not to worry if you are not yet a champion. This weekend is for anyone interested in fitness, and that includes YOU, or you wouldn’t be reading this.

That’s it. Invest in your transformation, in order that you remember and that you add value to it. Keep a good journal; make friends; go to events that matter; and of course, work the universal law of reciprocation by helping those who cannot help themselves.

How do you cope with situations like travel, visiting relatives, events that “pop up,” and even occasional emergencies such as having to take a sick kid to the doctor or the ER, or in one lady’s case–being subpoenaed to court! Let’s talk.

FIRST, it’s tempting to just make a blog like this all about TIPS and TECHNIQUES. Some of this will be that, but there’s one over-arching principle we need to discuss first! I think all of you are smart enough to come up with solutions, but some of you just aren’t CONFIDENT enough to make the appropriate responses. BFL newbies begin with two emotions–excitement and FEAR! Neither will carry you through. You need more than emotion–you need a major character trait called COURAGE. Here’s what I mean.

STOP worrying about what others think about you! It’s not their job! The lady who was subpoenaed to court asked if it was appropriate to take a ready to drink in her purse and mentioned that court witnesses had their purses searched! She was afraid she would have to EXPLAIN why she had a shake in her purse and didn’t want to deal with that! Why? Fear! Look, I know lots of court guards, and there is NOTHING that they haven’t seen in a lady’s purse and these people have way too much to do than grill somebody about their Myoplex Lite! Get over it!

It’s the same way at work, though, isn’t it? You’re afraid somebody will see your drink and say, “Ohhh, another diet, huh?” Develop the “I can’t believe you had the nerve to ask me that” look, use it, and get on with it.

When you travel, do you take your overnight supplies, deodorant, toothbrush, shampoo, etc.? Of course! Are you embarrassed? No. Do you take little packets of tuna or chicken, Myoplex and a shake cup or a blender? Well, most of you don’t! You’d rather worry about what to do when you get there, right? For most of us, it’s just getting over that awkward feeling about following this routine. When I travel, I take a gym bag that has NO gym clothes–that’s another bag. Instead, this bag is filled with a full-sized blender, lots of MRPs, some tuna, chicken and salmon packets (individual sizes), some baggies with brown rice or whole wheat tortillas in them, baggies with supplements, my journal, and disposable drink cups. It weighs 15 pounds. I never miss a meal while traveling, and I have never “had to” resort to something that wasn’t appropriate. That bag is always stored in my car trunk. There’s a bottle of drinking water in there too, so I just have no excuse for missing a meal. I even have a device in my trunk that will run a blender in a pinch.

What if someone sees my bag and all my goofy things? Look, it’s a GREAT OPPORTUNITY to tell them about Body for Life! Deana Langham has said several times that when she met me at Knoxville and saw that I was hauling “the bag” with blender and Myoplex to my room, she KNEW I was going to be a champion some day!

How about the “conference menu?” You know, the hotel tables filled with muffins, bagels, and other sweet treats during a conference break. Take a ready to drink instead and put it right in your purse or briefcase. More than once someone has asked me why I am not eating the “goodies.” I just plainly say “I NEVER eat crap like that!” They never ask a second time.

Courage! Those without it end up fat, dumb and unhappy! How do you get courage? You just act courageous, even if you’re scared! You’ll get there. Don’t worry about losing “friends.” Worry about making the right ones, people who care more about you than what you’re eating at the moment.

This is a rerun of an old blog from the past. It is old, but the principles in it are timeless. SAY IT OFTEN ENOUGH, and YOU BEGIN TO BELIEVE IT YOURSELF! How do you achieve what Bill Phillips called the “power mindset?” Well, as Bill points out in the book, it begins with getting organized and ends with keeping self-promises. That’s all true. But there is another dimension to it as well, that is a part of keeping self-promises. That is cleaning up your language and your thoughts!

No, I’m not talking about THOSE kinds of thoughts, guys!. I’m talking about negative or self-deceiving thoughts and statements. Here are some examples: “I am sooo tired, I think I’ll just sleep in a bit and then hit that cardio first thing after work.” TRUE MEANING: I’m too lazy to do cardio this morning and I’m blowing it off for the day.

“I’m thinking I may have another appointment this evening and I may have to reschedule our training session tonight.” TRUE MEANING: There’s something I’d rather do this evening than work out, though I don’t have the guts to tell you that directly!

“I’m going to have the cheesecake dessert but a little extra cardio tonight will burn that right off.” TRUE MEANING: I really don’t care nearly as much about how this challenge turns out as I say I do.

Well, you get the idea. What I’m suggesting is that the little white lies we tell others become the little white lies we tell ourselves. And, when we’re not honest with ourselves, we have no hope of engaging the kind of discipline it takes for a serious challenge result. To be successful you have to be able to master all those little fleshly lusts and desires, and you can’t do that until you have the quality of self-honesty. This is really the main reason you MUST keep a journal. If you intend to do it, and you write it down, you’re much less likely to lie to yourself later on!